OKAY not strictly a club, but you're going to need some sustenance in the hours between getting back from Kunst and getting ready for Melting Pot.
The Mela - the city's biggest multicultural festival - provides the backdrop for this edition of the Street Feastival, the wildly popular coming together of beats and burritos, house and hot dogs, funk and falafel.
Catch DJ sets from Glaswegian luminaries like Harri, David Barbarossa, Rebecca Vasmant and Andrew Divine, while chowing down on Vietnamese, Caribbean and Indian street food. Tasty indeed.
n Street Feastival at Glasgow Mela, Saturday and Sunday, Kelvingrove Park, 12pm-8pm, free.
Secret party fun
ANYONE who's ever been to one of Substanz's secret afterparties and felt it was over too quickly can look forward to a real test of stamina tomorrow.
Kunst - it's German for art, those of you sniggering at the back - are throwing a super-secret all-nighter to round off their season. It kicks off at The Poetry Club, Jim Lambie's eccentric wee space over at SWG3, before a party bus fleeto arrives at midnight to transport punters to an undisclosed location for a solid nine-hour techno fest.
The likes of La Cheetah's Dom D'Silva, Rubadub's Ryan Martin and Kunst residents Frankie Gallagher and Kris Bell are overseeing this hedonist's heaven, with Mirrors, aka Chris McFarlane, plays live.
If you struggle with endurance, try Optimo's night at the Sub Club with Parisian duo The Twins.
These non-violent femmes - who count JD Twitch as one of their idols in a mind-melting promo video for Kompakt Records - make weird, driving house music for dancefloor and arty types alike
n Kunst, tomorrow, The Poetry Club, 8pm-9am, £10.
n The Twins, tomorrow, Sub Club, 11pm-3am, tbc.
Melting Pot treat
SUITABLY stuffed from the Street Feastival, make your way to The Admiral for the triumphant return of Idjut Boys to Melting Pot.
After a five-year absence, the duo - known for their genre-hopping, marathon DJ sets - are back to take the long-running club's audiophile crowd on a journey through disco, soul, funk, R&B and house.
There are few experiences like a classic Melting Pot. I'm not exaggerating when I say that, on its night, this is the best club ever: from the obsessive nature of the selectors, to the sheer joie de vivre of the veteran punters.
It's something that should be on everyone's bucket list. Get down there this weekend if it's the only thing you do.
n Melting Pot, Saturday, The Admiral, 10.30pm-3am, £10.
XXL hits Arches
NOT content with dominating The Arches at London Bridge, London's foremost night for bears (not the Ibrox variety) heads north of the border for the first time: taking over Glasgow's Arches for a night of supremely sweaty, guys-only action.
XXL resident Christian M brings his overflowing record box, playing funk, disco and the obligatory cheesy pop hits.
Needless to say, this isn't going to be one for the prudish.
n XXL Glasgow, tomorrow, The Arches, 10.30pm-3am, £10.