SOMEHOW, I found time to drag myself away from watching ice bucket challenge videos on my phone to cover another slice of Glasgow nightlife for you, dear reader.
It wasn't easy - literally everyone in the world, from George W. Bush to Wee Agnes from downstairs has been getting themselves wringing and uploading it.
I spent 72 hours in a FaceBook-induced catatonic state before someone found me, took my phone away and reintroduced me to the outside world.
I went to the Tia Maria Dark Room at Hummingbird: a celebration of "the ultimate girls' night out".
Despite being the most unglamorous, chubby and unshaven person to ever set foot in Hummingbird, I was able to fit right in among the manicure tables, hair stylists and Tia Maria cocktails and have a rare old time.
The night was curated by Radio 1 DJ and certified party starter Gemma Cairney, who wisely sidestepped the cheesy party tunes in favour of dancefloor-friendly disco and house-inflected pop.
Local DJ duo The Mac Twins - Lisa and Alana MacFarlane - were infectiously enthusiastic behind the decks, as were the Pretty Ugly collective, who host their own amazing monthly night at The Admiral.
After experiencing the serenity of a night without being surrounded by (other) drunk guys and their weird, aggressive behaviour, I'll be hoping for the Dark Room to head north again as soon as possible.