IF you're so inclined, it's now possible to party to a ridiculously high standard every single night of the week in this great city.

Mondays have always been somewhat of a stumbling block, but with Kokomo's emergence as a bona-fide student magnet, that niggling gap has been filled.

The successor to Bamboo, its unashamedly less upmarket sister club downstairs, this place takes all the table service, VIP room and EDM cliches that define this current era of clubbing history (in the future historians will call it the Grey Goose Phase) and make them totally real and totally attainable - as long as you look right and wear the right gear, of course.

Inside is all modern and impressive, with imposing metal cages that turn out to be booths and tactically low lighting keeping the upmarket illusion intact.

There's a secret VIP room down a corridor behind the bar that's tiny and is actually so much preferable to being among the plebs (not my word, you understand), in contrast to most of these places where VIP means a cordoned-off corner of the main room.

I'm no snob and regular readers will know about my hatred of these arbitrary classes imposed in upmarket clubs (just another made-up system to keep the working man down, am I right?) but it's just that in Kokomo's VIP, the people are actually cooler, you get served at the bar quicker and the music isn't quite as loud and irritating.

I don't know what exactly you have to do to get in - I just get ushered into these sections by this point - but it's probably worth making up a fake noble title in the queue (try Duke of Cowcaddenshire or something) if you feel it'll help.

Good luck, god speed and don't forget your dancing shoes, my liege.