Wrestlers. They’re so sensitive, aren’t they? Last time I visited Box in a professional capacity (well, for work - I’m not going to say it was all entirely businesslike), I managed to upset the entire Glaswegian wrestling community. You see, this is their watering hole. And when I wrote a very mildly disparaging article about the night I spent there, the reaction was one I could never have expected.
My appearance, my name, and my family’s reputation were dragged through the mud in a storm of social media abuse. I lost count of the number of creatine-fuelled, Herculean studs who vowed to note down my features and take vengeance if they ever saw me. A man called “Criz” criticized me for the spelling of my name. I couldn’t walk down Buchanan Street without worrying that a long-haired, perma-tanned beefcake was going to RKO me straight out of nowhere. I went through hell, readers.
After months of therapy and lying low, I felt it time to finally draw a line under this horrible chapter in my life. Seeking closure, I did the unthinkable and I went back to Box. Unlike most journalists, I’m not out to make enemies or cause unnecessary confrontation, so I wore a different jacket to last time. I had the best night. There wasn’t a sweaty, oiled-up man in his pants in sight. For the first time in over a year, I finally felt safe. The open mic night, hosted by Ross from beardy indie rockers Fatherson, was a triumph: a real cut above the competition. The pub’s Still Game-themed cocktail list – with delights such as The Boabby and The Victor Delight refreshing and amusing punters in equal measure – created a buzz that I have rarely seen rivalled. I left feeling like a cloud had been lifted, and as I dodged the empty chip pokes and general slurry of Sauchiehall Street, I made a vow never to disparage the unofficial clubhouse of a sensitive, easily-offended group of individuals again. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find some Celtic and Rangers pubs to review for next week’s column.
Q: What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given for free?
1 Candice Gallagher, 19, Lanark, “Alcohol”
Lisa Walker, 19, Lanark, “Food”
2 Lauren McGarvey, 19, East End, “A Subway”
Abbey Chastay, 19, Lanark, “A teddy bear that lights up”
Gillian McArthur, 19, Mt Vernon, “Tickets for a concert”
3 Conor Rundell, 21, South Side, “A chest of drawers”
Tia McFadyen, 18, South Side, “I got my nails done”
4 Chris Mac, 21, Glasgow
Favourite Club? Sub Club
Favourite Bar? Nice N Sleazy
Favourite DJ? Illyus & Barrientos
Favourite Band? INXS
First Club? The Cathouse
What You Drinking? Buckfast
Describe Your Dancing? I couldn’t possibly.
5 Michael Smith, 19, Fife, “A toy tiger from the Links Market”
6 Jacob Carrick, 20, Dumfries, “A Nintendo DS”
Amy Fitzpatrick, 20, Lenzie, “ A tshirt”
7 Graham Queen, 26, Dennistoun, “A bus pass”
Chloe Carrick, 24, Dennistoun, “Doc Martens”
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