I have a definitive new system for ranking the clubs and bars on these pages. In determining whether a nightspot is worth visiting, I now need ask only one simple question: would my new heroes, the stars of Glasgow’s own reality show Glow, be seen here?

Of course, anyone worth their spray tan knows there are two hangouts where the city’s new cultural elite are most likely to be found. The first: Bothwell Bridge Hotel, scene of the spectacular ball that was the crux of the first episode.

In Woody Allen’s Manhattan and Annie Hall, New York City itself is like a supporting actor. It’s hard to imagine the first episode of Glow without Bothwell: the hotel, captured in cinematography every bit as lush as Gordon Willis’s, is the standout here.

Haters will argue that Bothwell isn’t in Glasgow, it’s in Lanarkshire, and that this was a contrived £50-a-ticket charity do in a hotel, and that those ridiculous Lamborghinis the cast rolled up in were hired, but what do they know? Bothwell is now officially Lanarkshire’s hippest place to see and be seen, thanks to Glow’s effortlessly stylish gang.

The other spot that will no doubt play a huge part in the series’ narrative arc is Kavalli, the Merchant City club owned by cast member Brian Matthews.

Now, only the world’s worst cynic would try to argue that Brian and the producers have settled into a sordid, loveless marriage of convenience here, with his set up giving them a place to film, and then an endless stream of publicity going the other way.

That is absurd. Kavalli ticks all the boxes for a project like this: it’s a trendy, denlike little place that has been - up until now – a hidden gem on the underground house and techno scene. Expect that to change when the tourists come flooding in on the back of tonight’s Halloween episode.

Which brings us nicely to Hummingbird. Would Paddy, Stephanie and the gang be seen here? Probably. It's just about glitzy enough to keep them entertained. Is it likely to happen? Nope. Am I packing up my belongings and checking out property prices in Bothwell as we speak? You bet I am.

Q: What’s the best or worst Halloween costume you’ve witnessed?

Marmaduke Smith, 22, East End, “Basil Fawlty”

Charlie Winspear, 20, City Centre, “Cat is always a good fallback”

Sarah Clucky, 19, Paisley, “Cruella DeVille”

Keri Smith, 20, City Centre, “I once went as a bunch of grapes”

Homer Cussonneau, 23, West End, “I went as the Joker and I had it 100%”

Tom Reid, 19, City Centre, “A scary fairy”

Patrick Gallagher, 28, Lanark, “I went as a flasher one year”

Aristotelis Kampani, 21, Lanark, “I went as a leopard with minimal effort”

James Webb, 19, Finnieston, “I liked it when I dressed as Death”

Nils Blomberg, 21, Sweden, “My worst was Hunter S Thomson – A Hawaiian shirt and a bucket hat.”

Gergely Sarkozi, 22, Hungary, “My best was a full Twister board game with a strategically-placed red dot.”

CLUBBER OF THE WEEK Herve Aguiard, 26, West End

Favourite Club? Sub Club

Favourite Bar? Oran Mor

Favourite DJ? Denis Sulta

Favourite Band? Everything Everything

First Club? Sugar Cube

What You Drinking? Gin and Tonic

Describe Your Dancing? It’s crazy and iconic