It has been a vintage week for Halloween babies. Not adult babies, of course: grown men dressed up like babies, enjoying their regression so much that they make it an actual thing and never go back to being grown-up. That would be awful, although you can see the appeal.

I mean it has been a vintage week for photos of babies dressed up in Halloween costumes. Exquisite Halloween costumes, at that. Some of these babies I’ve seen on Buzzfeed have been able to produce costumes displaying levels of craftiness and cultural know-how that would embarrass their adult owners – who have definitely not produced the costumes, stuck them on the babies, and then spread the images far and wide on social media in a desperate, attention-seeking frenzy. The Still Game babies. The Father Ted toddlers. They all “won” Halloween. Well done, everyone. Can’t wait for next year, when we can expect a million bab

Who else won Halloween? Well, at The Garage on Monday there were several contenders. A handful of Harley Quinns, defying the purist nerds who warned people that if they hadn’t read the comics, they shouldn’t dress as that particular character. A couple of Vince Vegas and Mia Wallaces looked on-point. But for me, the real winners were the ones who said “stuff it” and didn’t make any effort at all to adorn themselves. The ones who have no truck with the sexy cat outfit. The ones who chose to stand out by being as boring and normcore as possible. No F-words given, as Buzzfeed might say. You’re the real winners here, guys!

Q: What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever witnessed?

1 Ian Wembridge, 27, Wales, “Gimli from Lord of the Rings speaking about politics”

Andrew Stewart, 21, Grangemouth, “A huge bottle exploding tonight”

2 Ian Johnman, 26, Falkirk, “I went to Russia once – that was pretty messed up”

Alan Harley, 26, Falkirk, “I saw my dead uncle next to my bed one night”

3 Lily Douglas, 20, Dumfries, “A beast hurt in the middle of the road”

Imane Kharraf, 21, Dumfries, “A clown lurking in the woods”

Diana Diamianoska, 25, Dumfries, “When I went bungee jumping”

4 Heather McInnes, 18, Paisley, “The movie ‘It’”

Alicia McKinlay, 19, Paisley, “The film ‘Halloween’”

5 Sarah Weaver, 19, Paisey, “Adrian when he’s drunk”

Adrian McKechnie, 19, Paisley, “Sarah’s face”

6 Ethan Roberrson, 20, City Centre, “A dead body”

Jessica O’Neill, 21, Lanarkshire, “My friend dressed as a prawn”

7 Nicholas Thumath, 21, Glasgow

Favourite Club? The Shimmy

Favourite Bar? Tingle

Favourite DJ? Duke Dumont

Favourite Band? Scissor Sisters

What You Drinking? Prosecco

Describe Your Dancing? Atmospheric and beautiful

8 Eleanor Parry, 21, Glasgow, “There’s lots of men in dresses here tonight…”

Kate Nicholson, 21, Glasgow Green, “I got punched by a Bulgarian once”