i AM Boat Party

The decision by the city's licensing board to effectively close The Arches as a club has, of course, dominated the agenda in the clubbing world this week.

Cultural figures including Alan Cumming have been among the loudest voices calling for a reprieve, while a petition against the venue's closure has attracted 25,000 signatures at time of writing.

What's worse is that jobs will be lost in vain - the venue's closure will not bring the reduction in drug use or crime that Police Scotland are so adamant about.

I cannot find one informed comment or article that agrees with the decision; it's a horrible situation for the arts and for the city.

In spite of this, there are still parties to be had this week.

One of the biggest is i AM's boat party, which sets sail from the Science Centre on Tuesday evening. Residents Beta and Kappa bring the beats on the night's nautical portion, while Optimo's JG Wilkes takes the helm all night long at the afterparty.

On Wednesday, Portuguese producer Rui Da Silva plays a rare set at Sub Rosa's fourth birthday.

The veteran Portuguese hit the big time in 2001 with number one Touch Me, and his sunbleached house tunes are still the perfect soundtrack to a summer evening after all these years.

A perfect opportunity to soak up some early Café Mambo to ease you into the warmer months.

€¢ i AM Boat Party, Tuesday, Science Centre, 7pm - 11pm, £22

€¢ Afterparty, Tuesday, Sub Club, 11pm - 3am, £6

€¢ Rui Da Silva, Wednesday, Sub Club, 11pm - 3am, £7

Heston Bru-mental

Bloc's Mad Chef has gained national notoriety for his culinary mashups: Irn-Bru pulled pork and Buckfast ice cream are just two of his creations.

But Danny McLaren isn't just passionate about infusing unlikely foods with our national drinks.

He also loves techno, and he's combining the two on Saturday at his second Audio Beef night.

As well as preparing a six-course menu of Mexican street food, McLaren will be serving up squelching techno beats all night long from the kitchen... all while dressed as a Mexican wrestler.

There are no adequate words to describe this man, which is exactly why we love him.

€¢ Mad Chef Audio Beef: Tacos and Techno, Saturday, Bloc, 9pm - 3am, £25/free

Muchachos Locos Barrio Carnivale

Latin vibes abound this weekend, with this South American barrio party taking over SWG3's studio warehouse.

It has Stay Fresh, Thunder Disco Club and Sub Rosa - three of the city's hottest crews - spinning house, disco and Latin beats.

Saturday looks completely different, with veteran house DJ Sasha taking over the sprawling venue with his Last Night on Earth tour.

Henry Saiz and Kate Simko are on support duties for the longstanding Welshman, who shows no sign of letting up even in his 25th year of larging it.

€¢ Muchachos Locos Barrio Carnivale, tomorrow, SWG3, 11pm - 3am, £10

€¢ Sasha, Saturday, SWG3, 10pm - 4am, £22.50

Belle and Sebastian Afterparty

The average Belle and Sebastian fan might be more comfortable ensconced in the corner of an all-night café than the club, but even the feyest indie kids have to get on their dancing shoes sometimes.

After the Glaswegian band's biggest-ever hometown show at The Hydro, the party is downstairs at The Admiral, with DJs playing C86 and indie-rock classics until the wee hours.

€¢ Belle and Sebastian Afterparty, tomorrow, The Admiral, 11pm - 3am, £5

Student Stuff

For most students, the anxiety of exam season is all but over.

To that end, there are a few massive undergraduate-magnet events on over the next few days.

Tonight, the ABC's Jelly Baby will be packed to the rafters as thousands celebrate the end of the semester. Along the street, The Garage is going all Magaluf with an epic foam party, while tomorrow at the GUU there's an all-day beach party, with rum and reggae aplenty.

€¢ Jelly Baby End of Exams Party, tonight, ABC, 11pm - 3am, £4

€¢ Neverland Foam Party, tonight, The Garage, 11pm - 3am, £5

€¢ GUU's All-day Rum and Reggae Beach Party, tomorrow, GUU, 2pm - 3am, free/£5 after 8pm