They are one of Scotland's best known comedy duos, up there with Still Game and Frankie and Josie, and now Robert Florence and Iain Connell are about to unveil their latest comic creation.

The Burnistoun pair will debut their new live show, Uncles, at the King's Theatre on Wednesday as part of the Glasgow International Comedy Festival.

The 'one-off' show promises to provide 'guidance from men of real experience, men who know all the answers'.

However, for fans who cannot wait any longer, the comedy duo have written an exclusive sketch for the Evening Times, giving a sneak peak at their new Glaswegian uncle characters.

Beth Glock, Bishopbriggs, asks... I'm in my second year of a law degree and I hate it. I'm only doing it because my parents, both fine tilers in their own right, have pressured me into it. I'd rather do something that helps the world. Should I live the life they've planned out for me or should I tell them how I feel before things go too far?

Yer Uncles Say... Don't be selfish. You had let it go too far the first time Dirty Robbing West End Landlords Limited appeared on your ma and da's bank statement. Imagine your ma's heartbroken wee face when you tell her that you're giving up law to go protect endangered swordfish in a waterfall in Mozambique or some nonsense. Imagine your sickened da going round people's houses in the night and ripping off every tile he ever fitted to give you the life he could never have. The simple fact is, your ma and da will be dead one day and THAT will be the time – when you're far too old to do anything about it – to regret all the things you never did in life. That's what normal people do. In the meantime, coin it in by keeping a few gangsters out of Bar-L.

Richard Flair, 14, Bishopbriggs, asks... It's my girlfriend's birthday in a few weeks and I don't have any money to buy her a birthday present. My parents don't even know I have a girlfriend, so if I ask them for some cash to buy her something they will totally embarrass me with awkward questions. Any advice?

Yer Uncles Say… Dump her. Let the birthday pass. Ask her out again on the next Monday at school. The Short-Term Birthday Dump For Skinto Teens is a tried and tested manoeuvre from the Daft Boay Playbook. At school we both used to dump our girlfriends every birthday, Christmas and Valentine's Day. Sometimes even before going to the chippy, if she was expecting us to buy her a roll and fritter. We're considering taking this move forward into adulthood and asking for a divorce before any expensive wedding anniversaries and then slowly sneaking our stuff back into the house once the date has safely passed.

Pete Gas, Bishopbriggs, asks… What should I do about my noisy neighbours? They play early-90s techno music 'til all hours of the night and regularly hold 3am poetry slam battles in their study/third bedroom. I wouldn't mind but it's making it hard for me to properly fantasise about Holly Willoughby when I'm making love to my sister-in-law. How should I deal with this?

Yer Uncles Say... I once spent a few intense months shacked up in Shettleston with an unpredictable woman who'd been thrown out of hairdressing college for shaving a cannabis leaf into a pensioner's head. We didn't have our troubles to seek and we also had neighbours like yours. I went upstairs to them with an electric drill, and drilled holes through their front door. They were terrified, but I just posted individual lengths of dried spaghetti through the holes. It was more of a confusion tactic than a violent act. It worked, though. There was no more happy hardcore from them, and any time they made a peep I just screamed “WANT SOME PASTA?” at the ceiling and all was quiet again.

Esther Lube, Bishopbriggs, asks... Whenever I'm out clubbing it's always my pals that end up going home with guys. Nobody ever hits on me. What am I doing wrong?

Yer Uncles Say... Hen, guys are animals. Why would you want to ruin a good night oot by coming hame with a guy? Have you ever smelled a grown man's breathe first thing in the morning? Obviously in your sad case the answer's “no” but if you imagine the waft when you open an old Pringles tube full of rotten kebab meat then you'll not be too far off the mark. You'll also get to avoid that awkward morning after conversation when he tries to sneak out your bedroom window while you make breakfast but realises it's too high up to dreepy and he needs you to help pull him back inside before he shatters his ankles. You should consider any night out where you don't get pestered by the likes our younger selves as the universe bestowing upon ye a blessing.

Tommy Cannon, Bishopbriggs asks... My boss is always making sexually suggestive remarks and pinching my hamstrings and glutes. I've told her that I love my wife, a skilled tiler, but that only seems to encourage her. We have to attend a company conference together in Manchester next month and she already has “ideas” about what might happen in our hotel. How do I deal with this?

Yer Uncles Say – HAHAHAHA! Yaaaaaaaassss!!!