Times Out: Helen Mackay is overcoming her anxieties - and she wants to drive her car

Last year for example, she appeared on stage in David Greig play Outlying Islands by play wearing nothing but a pleased expression.

It didn’t even cause the young actress undue concern when one night the dim lighting didn’t quite dim to the extent she’d expected.

However, while the performer from Thurso has shown to be entirely convincing on-stage in demanding theatre work by the likes of Moliere, in real-life Helen reveals she’s often constricted by anxiety.

“I’ve bought a new car recently, but I won’t drive it,” she reveals, with a wry smile.

“I get too anxious just thinking about it. I even went to see someone about this and they were able to trace it right back to my childhood.

“Growing up, we were always a little bit late getting to school in the morning, it was all about getting into the car and rushing. And I can’t get rid of this association.

“Now, I make the point of being ridiculously early for thing. Some of my friends laugh at this but it’s just my coping mechanism.”

Now Helen’s anxieties, and there are more than one, are being reflected in her latest performance.

The actress stars alongside Andy Clark in this week’s Oran Mor play, Walking On Walls, by Morna Pearson.

“I play a character called Claire who has moved away from home when she was young and now she’s come back because her father is ill.

“The story is about her having to deal with the demons from her past. She bumps into a boy from school (Andy Clark) who played a big part of her life back then.

“It’s about her dealing with the issues that confronted her at that time.”

Claire, whom we learn now has a good job and a comfortable life, didn’t fit in as a school girl.

Helen doesn’t want to give away too much of the detail of Claire’s confusion- it would spoil the plotline.

“But her time away has made her worry about how she fits into this world. The problems she had are still with her.

“What I can say is that she’s had a hard home life, and things happened to her which affect how she forms relationships with people.”

Helen, who has appeared in Rab C. Nesbitt, did quite fit in at school. Even though she was popular and seemingly confident.

“When I began to play this character it has made me think about my own situation.

“I guess she’s more like me than any other character I’ve played.

“When I was at school I was in the popular group, but I think what this entailed was I really just hung around with the popular people.

“At heart, I felt a bit of a geek, an outsider. I was the one who did drama which wasn’t common at all. It was just coincidence I think that my friends were popular.”

Helen adds; “I think there’s something deep inside me that connects me to this character. She was so easy to access.

“She made me think so much about growing up in Thurso.”

Helen was never going to remain in the North East.

“Loads of my friends stayed and they’re married and have kids, and that’s great but it wasn’t my choice.

“I have other priorities. And my acting dream wasn’t achievable in Thurso.”

Yet, life growing up in Thurso did instil her anxieties. She won’t drive fast (when she does drive) she won’t take risks.

“I try to manage my anxieties as much as I can but it’s difficult.”

Helen explains how she over compensates.

“Now, I’m never late for anything. I can’t stand not being on time. I prepare my lunch the night before. I pre-arrange everything.”

She adds, grinning; “We’re all a result of the children we once were.

“But as a result of this I’d rather stand at a bus stop and get soaking wet as I head into town than get in the car.”

Helen’s story is insightful; it reveals we are not always what we appear to be on the surface.

“I’m outwardly confident,” she says. “But deep inside there has always been this nervous person. And it’s something I have to battle.”

Helen takes her risks on the theatre stage. She’s consistently bold and innovative.

Does the inbuilt anxiety make for a better actress, force her to think more about the angularity she brings to roles?

“I don’t know if it does,” she says, smiling. “On stage, I feel safe and I can take risks. But in real life I’d love to drive my lovely new car.”

• Walking On Walls, Oran Mor, until Saturday.