Seeing red if i don't get my chips and cheese!

I HAD the pleasure of hosting the Glasgow Restaurant Awards 2012 on Monday at the Citizens Theatre and it was a fantastic night.

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And there was a fabulous after party at the Corinthian Club.

It really did showcase all of the wonderful places to eat out in Glasgow, which is probably a great thing for me after my disastrous attempt at cooking a few weeks ago.

You see I had been watching a programme on TV about healthy eating and how changing just a few small things in your diet could make a huge difference with losing weight and overall general wellbeing.

The expert on this particular programme spoke about addressing relationships with food – I'm thinking mine might be pretty good – and addressing any potential problem areas in our diets.

So I decided to do just that and after about 20 minutes or so it became clear to me that my particular problem areas were on a Sunday morning in Sauchiehall Street between 3am and 4am after a night out on the town, queuing for the obligatory chips and cheese.

So alluring is this particular dish that I remember a guy telling me he would leave a nightclub five minutes early, run round to the local takeaway, purchase a box of said chips and cheese and stand outside the club doors where random women leaving would flock to him – genius.

Now I know what you're thinking – that's easy enough to fix, right?

Wrong, and here, my friends, is what happened when I tried.

On my next big night out with the girls, I decided to make a small pot of low fat chilli using tinned tomatoes and Quorn mince with vegetables before heading out in a bid to combat my 3am munchie fix and thus saving thousands of calories by avoiding the dreaded late-night takeaway shops.

So I went out, had a great night to the best of my memory, minus any sort of fast food and woke up the next day to what can only be described as a scene from CSI Miami in my bedroom, sadly minus the hot cops.

My bed covers and a little bit of my wall were covered in red stains which led me to only one conclusion ... I had clearly murdered someone in a blind rage because I hadn't got my beloved chips and cheese.

It wasn't until I pulled back the covers the true horror of what had happened was revealed.

There in bed with me was that little pot of chilli, complete with ladle, its contents spread all over my beautiful white sheets.

I had actually bypassed the bowl and spoon option, got into bed with the pot and fallen asleep.

A very sad state of affairs for any respectable 32-year-old woman to find herself in.

I can only conclude this: never ever try to outsmart the 3am munchie call and whatever you do, avoid that wee man you're about to give a God-like status to wafting the box of chips and cheese in your direction as you sway out of that nightclub.

n A huge thank you to Dave Ross and all the staff at the wonderful McPhabbs, in Sandyford Place, for making my sister Laura's birthday so special.

Great food, lovely surroundings and fabulous service. What more could you want?

n Don't forget, folks, you can still buy tickets for this year's Pavilion panto, The Wizard of Never Woz. I'm playing the Good Witch Glinda and we're on until January 19. See you there...

I HAD the pleasure of hosting the Glasgow Restaurant Awards 2012 on Monday at the Citizens Theatre and it was a fantastic night.

And there was a fabulous after party at the Corinthian Club.

It really did showcase all of the wonderful places to eat out in Glasgow, which is probably a great thing for me after my disastrous attempt at cooking a few weeks ago.

You see I had been watching a programme on TV about healthy eating and how changing just a few small things in your diet could make a huge difference with losing weight and overall general wellbeing.

The expert on this particular programme spoke about addressing relationships with food – I'm thinking mine might be pretty good – and addressing any potential problem areas in our diets.

So I decided to do just that and after about 20 minutes or so it became clear to me that my particular problem areas were on a Sunday morning in Sauchiehall Street between 3am and 4am after a night out on the town, queuing for the obligatory chips and cheese.

So alluring is this particular dish that I remember a guy telling me he would leave a nightclub five minutes early, run round to the local takeaway, purchase a box of said chips and cheese and stand outside the club doors where random women leaving would flock to him – genius.

Now I know what you're thinking – that's easy enough to fix, right?

Wrong, and here, my friends, is what happened when I tried.

On my next big night out with the girls, I decided to make a small pot of low fat chilli using tinned tomatoes and Quorn mince with vegetables before heading out in a bid to combat my 3am munchie fix and thus saving thousands of calories by avoiding the dreaded late-night takeaway shops.

So I went out, had a great night to the best of my memory, minus any sort of fast food and woke up the next day to what can only be described as a scene from CSI Miami in my bedroom, sadly minus the hot cops.

My bed covers and a little bit of my wall were covered in red stains which led me to only one conclusion ... I had clearly murdered someone in a blind rage because I hadn't got my beloved chips and cheese.

It wasn't until I pulled back the covers the true horror of what had happened was revealed.

There in bed with me was that little pot of chilli, complete with ladle, its contents spread all over my beautiful white sheets.

I had actually bypassed the bowl and spoon option, got into bed with the pot and fallen asleep.

A very sad state of affairs for any respectable 32-year-old woman to find herself in.

I can only conclude this: never ever try to outsmart the 3am munchie call and whatever you do, avoid that wee man you're about to give a God-like status to wafting the box of chips and cheese in your direction as you sway out of that nightclub.

:: A huge thank you to Dave Ross and all the staff at the wonderful McPhabbs, in Sandyford Place, for making my sister Laura's birthday so special.

Great food, lovely surroundings and fabulous service. What more could you want?

:: Don't forget, folks, you can still buy tickets for this year's Pavilion panto, The Wizard of Never Woz. I'm playing the Good Witch Glinda and we're on until January 19. See you there...

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