Aa attempt to break the record for the world’s biggest tea dance is being staged in Glasgow next month.
More than 254 couples are needed to join in at George Square on September 12. In preparation SARAH SWAIN and ALASTER PHILLIPS joined dancers at the Glasgow Club...
Tea dances were traditionally held in the afternoon or early evening as a little entertainment to accompany afternoon tea (and presumably to burn off the calories from all those scones).
They were genteel affairs, with the music usually provided by a quartet or small orchestra.
But they’ve always remained popular with people who remember Glasgow’s dancing days.
And it was something I’d always wanted to try so Alaster and I joined a dance group in the Gorbals.
And though it’s not quite as sequined as Strictly, there are plenty of glam couples swirling around the floor of the Glasgow Club.
There is no teacher as such – it seems everybody here already knows their foxtrots from their quick steps.
But Jimmy Murphy is in charge of the music, which includes tunes for the waltz, tango and Chicago swing.
Aged 90, he’s Glasgow’s answer to Bruce Forsyth and has been dancing since he was 16 – even if he now has to sit down most of the time now due to arthritis.
Yes, it’s safe to say there’s no Arlene Phillips-type-ageism here.
Gorbals born and bread, Jimmy’s been running the dances here for a decade, and before that ran dances in Kelvingrove for more than 20 years.
He said: “I like the atmosphere and the company. They’ll need to carry me out of here in a box!
“Somebody said the only difference between you and Brucie is he’s got money!”
Jimmy once managd Green’s Ballroom, which sat atop the long-vanished Green’s Playhouse, latery the Apollo Theatre.
He met his second wife, the late Davidina, at Glasgow’s Plaza ballroom.
He said: “I asked her to dance. That was the start of it.”
But Jimmy, who worked in the Gorbals at butchers Frank Stuart and was also in the RAF during the Second World War, says he’s not keen on Strictly.
“That’s not actually dancing. But people who have never danced before, I admire them for learning it.”
Which is what we’re here to do.
Jimmy presses play on the CD player and I feel like I’ve been transported back to the Dennistoun Palais.
The other dancers – some of who have competed professionally – are keen to help us get started as a foxtrot comes on.
First of all, we need to get into the right position.
But we’re doing it all wrong.
“You need to keep the contact” says Alex Miller, 68, from Bearsden, shoving me and Alaster together until our hips are touching.
“And you need to lean back more.”
It feels stiff and rigid and I’m leaning back so much I feel ridiculous. And holding the pose is exhausting.
Once we try and actually move it’s a disaster.
It’s something like the most awful Strictly failures – think John Sergeant and Fiona Phillips.
I have no idea where I am supposed to put my feet – and you can see looks of horror on Alex and his wife Margaret’s faces.
After that we decide to leave it to the experts, at least for today.
Many of the couples here remember the classic Glasgow ballrooms, such as The Plaza, The Albert and Tiffany’s.
Alex said: “Everybody could dance. It gave you a better choice of females!”
Eighty-two-year-old John Johnstone and his wife Irene, 80, dance every week to keep fit.
John said: “I’ve been dancing since the Plaza days. Now there’s the tea dances at the leisure centres, you can dance every day of the week if you want.”
Irene said: “We come here for the company, and the friends and it’s great exercise. You don’t feel old doing it.”
Some of the couples here spent years dancing in amateur competitions.
Mary and Norman Chalmers danced competitively for 30 years, after meeting on a crowded dance floor.
Norman said: “We dance two or three times a week. If you don’t take it too seriously you can get a lot of fun out of it.”
Duncan Menzies and Jane Lucas began dancing together in 1990 when Duncan went to the now vanished Plaza in search of the perfect partner.
He said: “I just wanted to learn to dance properly. I came to watch a competition and I saw Jane.”
She added: “He saw me do the rhumba.”
Although we enjoyed our day at the dancing, I think that to progress we need some expert help. The next time we take to the dance floor it will be under the direction of one of Glasgow’s top dance teachers.
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