YOU won't see him at it, but Santa is sure to be the hardest working man at Christmas.
YOU won't see him at it, but Santa is sure to be the hardest working man at Christmas.
As he polished his boots he stopped to tell JONATHAN RENNIE what makes his 25th ... and what it was like being stuck in that chimney . . .
WHAT DOES YOUR JOB CONSIST OF?
Well, trying to give everyone what they wish for, really. It involves a little bit of breaking and entering, illegal parking and causing arguments between parents and children across the world. And mums everywhere get annoyed by how much of a messy eater I am.
It's intense, but the time off is brilliant.
WHAT IS YOUR BEST CHILDHOOD CHRISTMAS MEMORY?
The year I got my first sleigh.
In those days I was learning the ropes so dad only gave me the huskies to practise with.
The worst has to be the year Rudolph got his red nose. All he did was crack a joke to Blitzen about his lack of Doe.
DREAM CHRISTMAS GIFT?
A Gillette Mach 3 Turbo. Or one of those Remington things.
Mrs Claus says she likes the beard, but it takes some upkeep. I even suggested a goatee, but she was having none of it. She is the same about the clothes. Every year it is the same - something red.
IS THIS YOUR FIRST YEAR ON THE JOB?
Ho Ho Ho, are you having a laugh? I have done this since my dad retired, and his dad before him, and his before that.
The year I started there was all this commotion in a place called Bethlehem. Finding gold and frankincense was a doddle, but myrrh? At short notice, in the Middle East?
WHY DO YOU DO IT?
There is not much work available for a man with no fixed address who carries a few more pounds than he should. Then again, if Vanessa Feltz can find work, maybe the girth is not a problem.
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING WITH THE MONEY?
Well, you know what the credit crunch is like, nowhere has escaped, even the North Pole.
My account has been frozen for months. If those elves crack one more "Saint nickel-less" joke I swear I will kill them.
EXTRA MONEY AT CHRISTMAS?
Do chocolate coins count?
When do you get your time off and how do you spend it? Do you have an alternative Bells or an early Christmas?
Oh no, we'll do the usual.
Mrs Claus and I will have our Christmas dinner, while Frosty has his bowl of snowflakes.
WHEN YOU DO CELEBRATE, WHO WILL IT BE WITH?
With the elves, the reindeers, and my wife.
She is organising the entertainment. Apparently she has booked Ronnie Corbett this year - she says he will look right at home.
WHAT IS The best thing about the job?
Getting to call the shots. I decide who is naughty or nice. I'm self employed. I'm an elf-made man!
WORST MOMENT?
The time I got stuck up the chimney. Did anyone come to help? No! I came back the next year and I heard kids singing songs about the incident.
Mrs Claus thought it was hysterical, she thought it sooted me.
BEST CHRISTMAS?
They are all great, but the year I got a Holly Davidson was especially good.
New year resolutions?
The same as every year. Cut back on the mince pies and the cookies. I've even chucked the dram of whisky under the tree for milk.
It's the light pollution - trying to use the stars to navigate with all these fairy lights is a nightmare. And after one too many, well ...
WILL YOU BE DOING THE SAME NEXT YEAR?
I ask all my helpers in all the shopping malls in Glasgow every year if they want to take their turn, but they never do. I think I'll be back next year. So you better not have misquoted me, otherwise you are back on the naughty list.
. . . but Rudolph can rest a while
By Deborah AndersonSANTA is bringing the personal touch back to Christmas this year and he's let the reindeer rest before tonight's rush around the rooftops.
These youngsters, above right, couldn't believe their eyes when they had a home visit from Santa in his soft-top car.
It was part of a drive by Woodhill Residents Group in Bishopbriggs to create a traditional feel to the festivities.
Tonight Santa will call on more than 30 homes in the Woodhill area and surprise kids.
He will swap his red convertible for a pony and cart to deliver a gift to youngsters.
But before his rounds he turned up on the doorstep of these little ones to bring some festive cheer.
Donald Macdonald, of the residents group, said: "We wanted to do something this year which is more traditional and as a thank you to the community for their help in various campaigns.
"More than 30 families signed up, through our website, for a personal visit.
"We will be knocking on doors tonight and dropping off a present with a chance for the little ones to meet Santa."
