Soaked to the bone with two greeting-faced wee ones in tow, the scene was more Kramer v Kramer than Harry met Sally

Yet as much of an admirer as I am of the Big Yin’s sunnyside-up attitude, my tendencies towards troglodytism often come to the fore when the rain outside is louder than the TV.

Perhaps Billy would also keep the cagoule in the cupboard if ever cosied by the plush surrounds of Edinburgh’s Knight Residence.

Located just a few minutes stroll from the city’s Grassmarket, these chic yet family friendly self-catering apartments in the gnarled, ageless Old Town boast tasteful opulence and invaluable locality in the form of friendly, knowledgeable concierge staff.

Once upon a time, the accommodation pioneered the concept of short stay rental apartments in Auld Reekie - an option which has caught on dramatically in recent years.

It’s quite obvious why, considering you are just a short saunter away from all the tourist traps/attractions such as Edinburgh Castle and the Royal Mile - with all the comforts of a homely base at close hand.

Upon arrival, however, any fanciful notion I had of marinating in the twee ye auld Scottishness of the nation’s capital was, as things often are, superseded by American imperialism when my other half suggested we Sat Nav the nearest Pizza Hut on our iPhones.

Dutifully, I wrapped our wee ones in more layers than Dante’s Inferno and valiantly ventured outdoors for an epic nine minute 23 second war against the elements, my mobile my sword. Google satellites estimate time in a terrifyingly accurate manner, accounting even for Tam O’Shantery weather conditions.

Sinking my teeth into a filled-crust monstrosity with a massacre at Old MacDonald’s Farm strewn artlessly on top, self-loathing tightened its noose upon my conscience and I pledged to make a more cultured effort the following evening.

As the next day dawned, conditions outdoors remained soul-crushing so I took a friend’s advice and booked a table at the city’s acclaimed La Petite Mort.

This is not actually a French restaurant, but those with even a rudimentary understanding of the language will have already cottoned on it’s a naughty way of saying the food may lead to a certain state of transcendental bliss beginning with ‘o’.

But soaked to the bone with two greeting-faced wee ones in tow, the scene was more Kramer v Kramer than Harry met Sally - despite the wonderful creations delivered to our table. Our dampened demeanours aside, the atmosphere of this delightful little secret enclave is perfect for families, couples or even meeting Photoshop ninjas from Tinder who resemble their own grandparent ‘IRL’ - in real life. Foodies looking for new experiences outside Glasgow should definitely make the effort.

Fuelled by this fine nourishment, we spent a memorable day spent notching up the city’s cliches - castle, trams, Royal Mile, Greyfriar’s Bobby, Jungle Jim’s Gigantic Playzone - and returned to the Knight Residence exhausted yet gratified, pouring ourselves onto the spacious couch.

And switching on the TV to be met with Four Weddings And A Funeral, I’m ashamed to admit neither of my toes curled when confronted by one of cinema’s most notoriously awful lines “Is it raining? I didn’t even notice.”

Bill Bain was a guest of The Knight Residence, Lauriston St, Edinburgh. Call 0131 622 8120 or go online at www.bymansley.com. Also, La Petite Mort, Tollcross, Edinburgh on 0131 229 3693 or see www.lapetitemortedinburgh.co.uk