THE MOLL was all dolled up.
"Let's hit the town, Tec", she said, fastening her pearls and pulling on a fur coat.
What the little lady wants the little lady gets, so I fired up the Buick and we burned rubber until we hit the newest joint in town.
Bread Meats Bread only recently opened its doors, but rumours of the best burgers in town had already reached my ears.
To call this joint "laid back" would be to call Kim Kardashian "a tad vain".
Toots didn't look happy. There were no constant top-ups of wine, no dainty side salads, and no polished silver.
Then I asked myself, "Does she ever look happy?".
I ordered up a Samuel Adams Boston draught beer to wet my whistle, while the Moll stayed on the wagon with an orange juice.
Glancing across the table, the Moll, in her finery, looked slightly out of place among the other, more casual, diners.
"I take it this is this what you call 'slumming it?'," she remarked, as she sat on her back-less stool. "Listen, Tec, if you're not up to the mark ... I'll find someone else who is."
I was hopeful that the food would bail me out, but when the waitress plonked down a plastic basket full of cutlery and paper napkins, a wave of fear came over me.
A furious Moll turned up her nose and I avoided eye contact, squirming in my seat.
"Let's have a look at the menu," I said, quickly changing the subject.
I let my peepers do the walking and had a quick scan at the scran.
The menu was straight to the point - burgers, chicken burgers, pulled pork, gourmet hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches.
However, there are no starters. It's more a whole list of sides, so we decided to share a couple.
Remaining intrigued, the Moll wanted to raise the spicy stakes and plumped for a Scotalian burger, with bacon and pepper relish.
I opted for the Full House, topped with American cheese, and smoked brisket.
At £8 a pop, I thought the price of the burgers were a bit on the high side.
It wasn't long before the waitress brought our food and there wasn't a plate in sight.
Burgers were presented in plastic baskets, and the sides in mismatched bowls.
However, what I hadn't banked on was such a generous portion - my Full House was like the towering inferno.
Calling this stunning effort a burger made me feel like I was doing it a huge disservice.
The meat was cooked to perfection, juicy, rich in flavour, and the strips of pork delivered an extra kick.
It was topped with juicy gravy, pickles and a sweet, tangy sauce.
Across the table, after her first spicy bite of the mouth-watering grub, The Moll perked up. Casting aside her cutlery, she rolled up her designer sleeves and got stuck in to her Scotch beef and Sicilian pork burger.
I wasn't even offered a bit to taste which, by the Moll's standards, means it was delicious.
"Enjoying your food?" I smirked.
"It's too good for the likes of you," she winked, wiping away some spicy Scotchbonnaise sauce from her chin.
The sides were equally good.
Crisp onion rings, zingy and creamy coleslaw, which tasted perfect with the huge bowl of sweet potato fries.
Despite the temptation of blueberry cheesecake and broken brownies, with ice cream, on the dessert menu, we could eat no more.
We were more than satisfied already.
After finally mustering the strength to stand, the Moll headed off to powder her nose, (and wash her hands and face).
Meanwhile, I settled the more than reasonable bill and we called it a night.
As we bid farewell, the Moll and I (finally) agreed on something - Bread Meats Bread is worth a return visit.
Scotalian - Red Label Burger £8
Full House - House Blend Burger £8
Sweet Potato Fries £3
Onion Rings £3
Samuel Adams beer (330ml) £3.50
Orange juice £2