The Canny Man, 1 Beith Road, Lugton, KA3 4ED Tel:
TEC you promised me dinner, but all we've been on is a wild goose chase," cried her ladyship.
When Toots gets hungry you need to take on the mission and fast, but where we were it looked like mission impossible.
I had brought her along on a stakeout and we had come to a crossroads - literally.
It was a bleak night, but there in front of me appeared The Canny Man.
Even with my bad memory, I could vaguely remember this place from old and it seemed like the perfect spot to keep Toots' hunger pains at bay.
A quick turn of the Buick's wheel and we were parked up at this East Renfrewshire/Ayrshire border eaterie, and made a Usain Bolt-style sprint from the car park as the heavens opened.
It seemed a bit dark when we first entered but our host was quick and attentive as we were shown us to a table in what was an already busy joint.
Toots didn't look too happy - we had been plonked at a table where no one could see her.
"Darling, look at the plus point - your red nails do match the wallpaper," I offered as a consolation.
The look of disgust said it all. We had a look through the extensive menu, and the specials, as a pinot grigio got the old grey cells working as I made my choice.
The little lady had eyes for two things - fish and fish. She opted for the spicy prawn special followed by sea bream.
I eventually decided on chicken strips, followed by good old fashioned fish and chips.
Now I like a little time to decide, but the rattling of the talons on the table showed Toots was getting impatient to order.
While all the staff seemed to be busy and efficient, it just wasn't in our direction.
Eventually someone took our order. He seemed bright kid and even said it wouldn't be a problem to have skinny fries with the fish rather than fat ones.
I couldn't put my finger on it, but while this frontier-land joint was busy, it was lacking in a bit of a buzz.
Maybe the food would make up for it.
Our scran soon arrived and my starter didn't disappoint.
The chicken fillets with a sweet chili dip were delicious. Succulent and tasty, I had made a good choice.
The Moll on other hand looked bewildered. Her spicy prawns on a bed of water melon and corriander, was a taste sensation which she said just didn't belong together. IT'S just wrong," declared Toots sounding more and more like a MasterChef judge by the minute.
She still scoffed the lot.
The main event didn't disappoint - it seemed we were both right on the money here.
My little angel was presented with a cracking looking plate of food - which would pass in MasterChef.
Her sea bream came with mash, new potatoes, creamy cabbage and a sauce.
She was in heaven and the fish was cooked to perfection.
And my plain old fish and chips hit the spot, too.
Tasty, flaky fish went down a treat, but it seemed the kitchen couldn't rustle up the skinny fries - they still seemed as though they were overweight.
The wallet would no doubt be a little lighter after this night out, but I was pleasantly surprised to see it came in at £40.
You canny beat this place for food, but next time it could do with just a bit more of a bang for this pair of party animals.
STARTERS: Watermelon special prawns £4.25
Chicken fillets £4.95
Sea Bream £11.95
Fish and chips £9.95
Two soda and lime £3.50
1 Pinot grigio £5.95