THE Queen Mary 2 - Cunard's flagship vessel and the largest ship to ever said up the Clyde - made its first voyage in 2004, making it one of the most modern cruise liners in the world. But it has quite deliberately been designed not to feel like that. That's not to say it's tatty - in fact it's immaculate. But the impeccably-dressed, white gloved welcome party, sweeping staircases, a grand piano playing away and lavish mahogany-gold decor in its Grand Lobby, give the impression of a Titanic movie set.

On arriving at our 'stateroom', as all cabins are called on board, a bottle of chilled sparkling wine and a personalised welcome message awaits. There is room for a small sofa, TV, wardrobes and fridge, and a luxurious double bed alongside a small bathroom and shower. A balcony is the most welcome feature though, at first overlooking the dreary docks but with the promise of more impressive sights ahead.

As rooms on board go, ours is mid-range. There are those with no sea view and then ones with a window that look out on to the ocean below, before you get the balcony class. For the deeper pocketed, there are suites on offer, handily coming with their own butler and even the promise of personalised stationary. They range from 'Queen's suites', at just over 500 sq ft, up to the 2249 sq ft Grand Duplexes.

Wherever you go, there are staff are on hand, opening doors, smiling, dispensing hand gel to protect against a dreaded norovirus outbreak, serving drinks and generally doing whatever they can to be helpful. In total, the crew is 1,200 strong. But for the first day at least, their main function is directing confused travellers around the colossal, half billion pound floating resort, with its 13 decks, four stair towers and 22 lifts open to passengers.

Built for regular transatlantic crossings and annually going on a three month world cruise, there is a 1000+ seater theatre, a gym, nightclub, more than a dozen bars, multiple restaurants and even a spa, covering 20,000 square feet. In addition, there's a library, planetarium, art gallery, golf simulator, swimming pools and ballroom. For a mere two hours in 24, between 2am and 4am, guests are deprived the opportunity to stuff their faces at a series of buffets.

A trip on the QM2 won’t be for everyone. Some will baulk at being told what to wear after paying handsomely for a place on board (strict dress codes operate in most areas during evenings) and clearly, travellers seeking adventure will look elsewhere.

But the incredible 1.3 million who crowded along the Mersey to greet the ‘Three Queens’ – the QM2, the Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria - when they arrived in Liverpool to celebrate the shipping line’s 175th anniversary is evidence that to many, there remains something inherently enchanting about these ships. If you’re looking for a chance to do very little, guilt free, while being waited on relentlessly, served up with a hefty dose of nostalgia, look no further than the QM2.