THE sun was shining, high in the Glasgow sky.

It was pure striking off the beaks of the lovely wee birds in George Square and then into view came my fair midden.

The Moll shimmied like a doll as she sashayed towards me, her bri-nylon extension eyelashes fluttering in the gentle breeze.

“Hallo, Toots!” I softly breathed.

“Ah’ll Toots ye!” she hollered.

“Ah’ve been halfway down Robertson Street and beyond trying tae find Broon’s. An’ when Ah gote tae Aikenhead Road Ah discover it wis demolished in 1999.

“So help me, Ah want tae demolish you, ya lump.”

“Au, haud the bus, hen. Ah said Browns, no’ Broons. We’re booked in to Browns. Look. Erritsrerr just on the squerr.”

“Aw, ratlooksrerr,” said my belle, suddenly refreshed.

And so we ambled into the elegance that is Browns Brasserie, just diagonally opposite the City Chambers.

We were treated like stars, which is right up Tootsie’s street. She dines out on attention.

“Champagne, Madame?” inquired the charming waitress. “Ocht! Why no!?” came the reply. “An’ gie him wan an’ aw!”

Housed in the iconic 130-year-old former GPO building, Browns is a stylish, charming wood and brass mélange with high ceilings and classy lighting.

The champagne flutes tickled Toots. Well, actually, it was the green calyx, the leafy stem of the strawberry perched on the rim that did that.

Browns has fairly stamped its style on the old Post Office building with menus designed to satisfy from trés petite to, well, Desperate Dan. Although there isn’t actually a cow pie on the fayre.

“Whit’re ye huvvin?” said old fusspot. Yet before I could respond she told me she was taking the goat’s cheese and walnut salad because it instantly reminded her “o’ thae smashing Walnut Whips ye used tae get in Marks”.

Her salad duly arrived, mercifully sans chocolate and went down a treat. “Aw, Tec, that’s pure lovely,” she said tucking in merrily while a leaf of rocket rested on her cuddly cheek. I took my life in my hands to sample the rhubarb dressing drizzled on her plate.

“Here, you! It’s manners tae wait til ye’re invited to touch.”

I recoiled as she then winked, smiled a little too widely for my liking and reached out her long, elegant, well actually, ever so slightly wrinkled fingers intent on stroking my hand.

“Cheers!” said I, as I raised my champers just in time. “Oh, aye,” she said, the dappled light draping sagely on her face.

I tucked in to the chargrilled chicken breast with Somerset Brie which touched a spot (unlike Cuddles) and got set for the main event.

Her nibs ordered bubble & squeak with an exquisitely crisp prosciutto ham, perfectly poached free range eggs and a hollandaise sauce. It is the most magical dish in all the land for she uttered not a dickie bird as she lovingly ate her way through each forkful.

My fish pie consisted of smoked haddock with a soft poached egg, topped with English mustard mash. This came with a tomato & samphire salad that also managed to silence me into food heaven.

The samphire goes well with a gumshoe. Externally tough-looking, internally soft, a little sweet. Just a joy.

“Haw, you! Dreamin’ again?! Ah’ve loved that but Ah’ve a wee happy bus to catch to get back tae Carntyne.”

“But, my sweetness, dae ye no’ fancy a wee sherry next door? We have the whole afternoon ahead of us?”

“As Ah said, dreamin’ again. An Ah’ve goat a boax o’ Take The High Road tae get through.

“But Ah wouldnae mind a sherry next time.”

And with that, the light of my life, my cheeky little Osram made her way oot.

We’ll be back.

Browns Glasgow

1 George Square,

Glasgow G2 1DY

Phone: 0141 221 7828

Fixed Price lunch menu has two courses for £11.95, available 12pm - 6pm, Monday - Friday.

Starters include: Goat’s cheese & walnut salad (v); Chargrilled British chicken sandwich.

Mains include: Chargrilled 6oz rump steak with garlic butter, confit tomato and fries; Fish and chips; Bubble & squeak; Lobster mixed with sea herb mayonnaise sandwich on grilled sourdough bread.

Mercier NV Brut Champagne (12%)

A Browns favourite.

125ml £8.00

Sauvignon Blanc Vina Pinto, Chile (12.6%)

Aromas of lime and grapefruit, surrounded

by passion fruit notes.

175ml £5.40 250ml £7.35 bottle £20.00