LAST week my daughter Jenna called me with her latest news. “Hi mum, you’ll never guess what.”

I remained silent as I imagined she had a last minute night out and needed a babysitter.

“I’ve booked you, me and Gemma in to a Clubbercise class next Monday evening.”

“A clubber what?” I had no idea what she was on about.

“A Clubbercise fitness class.”

“What the heck is a Clubbercise fitness class?”

I could tell Jenna was reading out loud details from a leaflet as she continued.

“It’s a simple, fun dance fitness routine using glow sticks to club anthems from 90′s music.”

“Glow sticks?”

Ignoring me she continued.

“The dance is taught in a darkened room with disco lights.”

“A darkened room?” I couldn’t get my head around this latest fitness fad as Jenna ignored me and continued with her spiel.

“Because of the high and low impact options, Clubbercise dance fitness classes are great for beginners……. that’s you mum …….. and fitness fans alike.”

She barely stopped for breath.

“A blend of simple aerobics, toning, club and street dance moves with high and low impact options to suit all abilities.”

“Oh well……..I suppose I could give it a go.”

Trying to get my head around dancing with glow sticks I suddenly thought.

“I take it I just wear my normal gym stuff?”

“Yes, but you can buy Ultra Violet reactive vests and glow wristbands!”

Nervously I arrived at the hall decked out in my old gym gear and was indeed surprised by the explosion of luminous colours as women wore UV tops with coordinated bright wristbands.

My daughter then appeared with Gemma each sporting brighter than bright headbands, tops, wristbands and glow sticks.

“Let’s head up the back.” I pointed to the far end of the hall.

“Naw.” Jenna laughed.

“I need to watch the instructor.” She explained as she positioned herself behind a very large lady in a luminous pink t-shirt the size of a tent. We’ll not see a blinking thing if we’re behind her.” I stated the obvious.

“Wait and see mum.”

Music blared out as though we were at the Carnival and the huge pink lady began her routine.

“Concentrate mum as it’s not as easy as the instructor makes it look.”

“But I still can’t see the bloody instructor.” I yelled whilst nodding towards the pink lady.

“You will in a minute.”

Sure enough, less than two minutes into her dance routine, the luminous pink lady staggered to one side and flopped on to a bench leaving a huge gap allowing us to see the instructor, who resembled a hyperactive squirrel hiding its stash of nuts.

She darted from one side of the hall to the other, then the other, then the other.

Sweat was now running down my back as I squinted over to see how Gemma was doing because this was her first class too.

“I’m…….I’m……I’m……” She attempted to shout.

Gemma seemed to be wheezing and puffing heavily so I thought it best to ignore her.

Well… least I tried to ignore her, because next minute one of her flashing glow sticks slipped through her sweaty hand and went flying through the air.

I could barely look as it spun over the heads of the jam-packed crowd finally thumping off one poor dancer’s collar-bone.

I turned to Gemma who just kept on dancing as thought she was as surprised as the others.

Ten minutes in to the frenzied dancing and I couldn’t help but notice that the side benches were now full of women who had had enough exercise for one night, and who were simply waving their glow sticks in the air in time to the music. A couple were slurping Irnn Bru and eating a high energy bar.

At this point I remembered Jenna telling me that I could expect to burn 600 calories doing the 45 minute workout.

But looking at the ladies in the side line I reckoned they’d be lucky to burn 60 calories.

And that’s if they kept waving their glow sticks.

Five minutes from the end it was announced that we should dance free-style, by which time I was more than knackered and could barely lift my glow sticks never mind my legs, and felt like I was in some sort of American comedy movie, when next minute I was aware of a commotion to my right side.

Quickly I became aware that Gemma had clattered her remaining flashing glow stick off the face of the girl next to her.

Gathered in the hallway when we finished, the large pink lady bellowed.

“Tracey…..Tracey……Are you going for a curry?”

“Oh aye.” Her pal’s eyes lit up.

“I think we deserve a wee treat Arlene.”

“Did you enjoy that mum?” Jenna laughed.

My face was still red with over exertion.

“It’s not often I’m lost for words Jenna but……”