La Bonne Auberge, West Nile Street, Glasgow Tel:

0141 352 8310

BLONDIE had been bending my shell-like for months about taking her on a trip down memory lane, so I told her I'd take her downtown in search of a diner with a little je ne sais quoi.

She'd been driving me crazy about reliving our last visit to Paris, and i finally gave into to her demands to take her to a flashy French brasserie.

The word from the bird was that La Bonne Auberge in West Nile Street was worth a look, and it wasn't a bank buster either.

The little lady was totally cranked up and peachy keen for it so she put on her best glad rags and I cleaned up nice with my best threads before leaving Tec Towers, revving up the Buick, dropping the clutch and flooring it.

As we rolled up to the front door, I eyeballed the facade and I had to admit it looked pretty cool, and once inside the place had a romantic feel with magnifique dark wood and low lighting.

The Moll came over all soppy on me in the swanky surroundings and started reminiscing about the good old times when I was a flutter-bum and treated her like a queen.

She said I hadn't bought her anything since I gave that rock back in Paris and it was time I put my hand back in my pocket.

My ears were bleeding by the time the waiter arrived to offer us a drink so I chose a half pint of Stella, the strongest beer in the house, for me and The Moll to take the edge off.

The staff couldn't do enough for us. They didn't speak the lingo, but it is Glasgow, so I wasn't expecting to have to dig out my old French phrase book.

My mouth was watering at the menu and was relieved to see there were no frogs legs or escargots as both of them gave me a dicky tummy the last time I had them in the French capital.

This old sleuth certainly hadn't lost his powers of detection and my trained eye went straight for the £16.95 two course "menu prix fixe".

Surprise, surprise Toodles wasn't having any of it and plumped for the biggest burger from the more expensive menu.

For starters I went for the rich chicken liver pate flavoured in garlic and ruby port with spiced pear compote and toasted brioche and it all went down singing hymns.

I nearly fell off my chair when Toots picked the broccoli soup of the day made from the finest market ingredients. As she sipped away at the rich green liquid all I could hear were oohs and aahs of joy and I told her: "Calm down, it's only a plate of soup, and broccoli at that!"

But she replied: "I can't help myself Tec, I've never tasted anything like it. It's delicious."

After polishing off the entire bowl, she then dived head first into the massive La Bonne Auberge burger, and I was wishing I had gone for it.

This was made to their own special recipe with 100% Scotch beef in a toasted olive oil sourdough seeded bun, crisp lettuce, tomato, red onion, peppercorn mayo and fries.

Her ladyship cooed: "This is a real treat. Who needs Paris when you've got a place like this on your doorstep? I'll be back!"

My main was rather dainty but delicious, a bit like yours truly, which was pan fried fillet of seabass, herb new potatoes and spinach, topped with a boiled egg, caper, cornichon (whatever that is when it's at home) and shallot mayonnaise.

An excellent dish if I say so myself which filled me up so much I had no room for dessert and went for a white coffee instead which I nearly choked on when I saw the price on the bill at £3.15 a pop ... but then maybe it was real gold blend?

STARTERS:

Soup of the day £5.95

Chicken liver pate (from the £16.95 two course fixed price menu)

MAINS: Seabass (fixed price menu)

Burger £13.50

DRINKS:

Coffee £3.15

2 half pints of Stella £4.50

Bottle of Coke £2.60

Sparking water £3.60.

TOTAL: £56.78 (inc £6.53 service charge)