I'M totally jet lagged, Tec.

Tired and hungry. This is hopeless," declares Toots. You would think she had just returned from far flung shores, but oh no, The Moll just couldn't handle the change in the hour.

I've never known anyone be affected quite so much by putting the clocks back.

I knew I had better keep the little lady sweet and think of a scran plan fast.

So I dug out my list of eaterie hotspots and came across The Osprey, in Newton Mearns. Not wanting to miss out on Sunday tucker, I booked a table online - dragging myself into the 21st century.

The Buick revved off from Tec Towers in the direction of the East Renfrewshire eaterie.

It had the look of an olde worlde inn and I was relishing the prospect of a relaxing afternoon.

Dashing in from the torrential rain, I was glad to see a roaring fire.

The place was already packed with diners, and I caught the attention of a waitress who said we could sit where we like.

My confused look prompted her to say, 'It's ok if you booked online, we were just about to reserve a table for you'.

Didn't really see the point in booking then,

We could sit where we liked - never a good idea where Toots is concerned. We sat down at a long table, and The Moll pipes up "this won't do, we're opposite the kitchen door."

So off we went again, and finally Goldilocks decides on a table for two with large comfy chairs.

However, I was quickly despatched for drinks while Toots perused the menu. I returned with a rose wine and a shandy, plus a wooden spoon - wasn't sure if the barmaid thought I was a loser of whether it was a prop for later.

A large and full menu had my tastebuds tingling. From Sunday roasts, to hearty pies, there was a lot to choose from.

The soup option wasn't for me, some kind of trendy flavour with spice. I plumped for warm breads followed by cod, with peas and skinny fries.

Toots? She couldn't decided on a Sunday roast or sea bream for mains.

Taking the hour into account she decided 3pm was actually 4pm, so was now treating this as dinner, and opted for classic prawn cocktail, and then roast beef with all the trimmings.

Toots didn't trust me, so she teetered over to the bar to place the order.

Looking very pleased with herself, I said I couldn't wait for the cod.

Her face fell and she admitted I might have a long wait as she'd asked for haddock. At least I was assured skinny fries.

It was soon forgotten and we soaked up the atmosphere in The Osprey, which has the feel of an old coaching inn.

Soon, our starters arrived and there was a generous portion of prawn cocktail for Toots. Crisp lettuce and plenty of Marie Rose sauce kept her happy. My mixed breads hit the spot to keep the hunger pangs at bay.

Our main event arrived and my plate of cod surprise, i.e., haddock, was sizzling. But the skinny fries had put on weight as I was served up handcut chips instead. It was all piping hot and the fish was pretty good, even if it wasn't what I'd asked for.

The Moll's dinner looked great. Roast beef, Yorkshire pud, veg and potatoes. "It's all rather tepid," declared Toots. Bit of a shame as it was certainly easy on the eye. She smothered everything in horseradish sauce which soon warmed it all up.

There wasn't much room left for pudding, but The Osprey had that covered. There was the option of mini pudding and coffee, so I plumped for a chocolate pot and white coffee, with a black coffee for Toots.

Not too rich and quite light, the dark chocolate dessert went down well.

Although it was mainly self order at the bar, staff were only too happy to take a couple of extra orders for drinks.

So in the end there was no need for the wooden spoon, and with a bill coming in at just over £40 it was a great way to while away the hours...

STARTERS

Prawn cocktail £4.75

Mixed breads £2.25

MAINS

Haddock and chips £7.75

Sunday roast beef £9.95

DESSERTS

Mini pud £2.95

DRINKS

One Rose wine £3.85

Two shandies £8.20

Coffees £1.55 and £1.95

TOTAL: £43.20