Ding dong!

“That better not be Avon calling. I’ve already paid my catalogue this month.”

As the tall, droll Moll opened the door at Tec Towers, I felt very inclined to adopt a Parisian accent and say: “Listen very carefully, for I shall say zis only the once.”

“Are you speaking the language of love to me Tec,” responded Blondie.

“How about some lunch at a French place at Charing Cross?”

Half an hour later and the blonde bombshell appeared and we were ready to hit the town.

We revved up the Buick and sidled down to North Street, not far from the Cameron Fountain, the one that sits at a jaunty angle by the M8.

It was built as a tribute to Sir Charles Cameron, a former newspaper editor and Liberal MP for Bridgeton back in 1896.

“You’re very well informed about a fountain,” said the lady as we sashayed along from the Mitchell.

"This old gumshoe knows a thing or two,” I said with a mischievous smirk as we arrived at Liberté.

“Here, Tec, was this not the Black Sparrow?”

“Indeed it was, my dearest. And before that it was The Ritz.

“Now it has had a refurb and a makeover and as I have often said, everything changes. Nothing stays the same forever.”

Liberté is home to columns and dark wood and sofas arranged in cosy little booths, with an adorable outdoor deck area at the back and a surprisingly large array of tables and chairs and booths on the mezzanine.

“Smashing, Tec. You’ve done it again.”

Our host is most welcoming and charming. His is a warm and homely style that fair cheers up our chittery Saturday afternoon.

As we take our booth, we spy one of Glasgow’s finest politicians taking but a short respite from her workload in the city.

“Is there anyone you don't know, Tec,” said Toots as she smiled, waved and shimmied off her faux leopard jacket.

“But I only have eyes for you, my dear.”

“Ahem,” said our host as he passed us the menus and perhaps only slightly raised an eyebrow.

A quick scran scan revealed adventurous offerings including a Scottish take on the French boeuf bourguignon, a delightfully-sounding Bouillabaisse and the classic steak frites.

“Perhaps you would care to share?” suggested our amicable host.

Fatal question to ask her ladyship, sharing always ends up with me being left hungry.

“Of course,” said the Moll, excitedly tapping her scarlet extensions on the dark-wood table top as she fluttered her femme fatale eyelashes.

“Ahem. Nachos, perhaps?”

We agreed. We ordered up a couple of vinos and waited for the scran to arrive.

And we were not at all disappointed by the nachos which were a generous serving of gloriously crispy wedges of tortilla topped with melted cheese, jalapeño peppers and also laden with sour cream and guacamole.

“Lovely, jubbly,” said Toots as she tucked right in.

“C’est superbe, oui?” I offered, dipping into my continental vernacular.

My dining partner and I had a struggle choosing our main from the menu, simply because we were tempted by so much of it.

There is a large choice of burgers in various guises; a rare and welcoming selection of mussel pots including one with white wine, cream, shallots and parsley.

In the end, Toots opted for traditional mac and cheese.

When it arrived, it was, sadly, disappointing.

“It’s very dry, Tec, I’m sorry.”

Problem resolved in an instant as our host swiftly appeared with a little jug of hot cheese sauce and the kindest apology.

“Oh, that’s much better,” said her master’s voice as she went on to enjoy the dish.

My choice was a little surprising: sliders.

“Oh, Tec, you are awful. The last time I had a slider I went on my derriere in Alexandra Park!”

That was all to do with the ice, I’m sure, but this slider was a trio of mini burgers, chosen from the main menu.

My choice was a delight on a board – I decided against fries as I’m watching my figure.

“Me too,” said the Moll with a creepy smile.

Back to my sliders: I chose Paris, a beef patty with bacon and brie; fish, with mushy peas; and Cajun chicken.

As it turned out, I am glad I declined the chips because this little trio fair packed me up.

We both enjoyed our visit, made totally special by our attentive host.

“Shall we make a move,” I suggested to Toots.

“Mai oui,” she replied with a lingering smile.

We snuggled down in Tec Towers with a Cointreau et de glace.

“Happy, Tec?”

“I shall say zis only once,” I replied with a wink as we clinked our glasses together.

Liberté

241 North Street

Glasgow G3 7DL

Tel: 0141 221 5530

Food:

Nachos £4.50

Mac and cheese £8

Sliders £7.50

Drinks:

Liberte House white x 2 £3.80

Total:

£27.60

Scores:

Atmosphere – 3 stars

Food – 2 stars

Service – 4 stars