I'VE been snotty about Kushion in the past but this time I ditched the cynicism and forced myself to come away with a different view.
In reality, you have to be impressed by how they're doing so much business without any kind of premise, gimmick or personality.
The whole place is like a facsimile of what a teenager imagines a nightclub is like, but that's cool because student bars have very little need to be cool or different or edgy.
Those things are for people with taste, which is something that first and second-year university students just haven't developed yet.
I know this from experience: I found a photo on my MySpace (it still exists, but all your super-embarrassing old comments are gone - bummer) the other day of me, on the main dance floor in The Garage, wearing a brown Ben Sherman shirt and v-neck jumper combo with a black skinny tie.
Back then I was all about trying to channel an updated Mod look, but what people would have noticed most was my profuse sweating sticking my enormous straightened fringe to my forehead.
I'm sure if we could all look back at our 18-year-old selves we would find similar atrocities.
It's an age where we're all still working out who we are.
Which brings me back round to Kushion: the undergraduates are magnetically attracted here because it has banging EDM tunes, really cheap drinks and everyone else is 18 and trying to figure themselves out at a chaotic and overwhelming time.
It would be silly to suggest that there's any meaningful experience to be had here, but for a midweek bevy session it's a decent option. If you like that kind of thing.
Ride at Kushion
Q: Who's going to be the biggest artist of 2015?
1. Harry Briggs, 19, Ayr, Paul McCartney
Katie McMillan, 18, Ayr, Sam Smith
2. Allana McCormick 18, Glasgow
Favourite Club? Kushion
Favourite Bar? TGI Fridays
Favourite DJ? Calvin Harris
Favourite Band? 1 Direction
What you drinking? Straight Vodka
First Club? Kushion
Describe Your Dancing? Bloody brilliant
3. Clare McBride, 18, Battlefield, Roy Zephur
Josh Hyde, 18, Giffnock, Panic Anchor
4. Mia Cruikshank, 18, Thorntonhall, James Bay
Sophie Fenn, 18, East Kilbride, George The Poet
5. Johnny Webster, 18, Pollokshields, Talia Storm
Rhona Macdonald, 18, East Kilbride, The Barr Brothers
6. Emilia Rizzi ,19, Italy, Mnek
Kirsten Mcintosh, 18 Glasgow, Banks
Ross Grant, 18, Aberdeen, Abba
7. Hannah Dodds, 18, Ayr, Rita Ora
Rebecca Shearin 18, Finnieston, Calvin Harris
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