A GUMSHOE like me knows when it's time to get out of the big smoke.

The streets were shiny and slick with rain and the air was heavy with the smell of gasoline.

The coast was calling and I fired up the Buick and headed south with the Moll.

She was also under the weather and I hoped the sea air would put a smile on her face.

But first we needed a nosebag and Toots was not for hanging about.

"How far is it now?" she asked as the sea loomed into view on the horizon.

"Nearly there," I said, putting my foot to the floor and burning rubber.

We were headed for the Brig o'Doon House Hotel, right in the heart of Robert Burns Country.

But first a detour to the shore in sleepy Ayr for a brisk walk along the front as the sun went down.

"This better be worth the wait," warned the Moll, tottering along beside me.

I knew the Brig o'Doon House Hotel as a place that always puts on the Ritz and sure enough a roaring log fire was illuminating the fancy decor.

The friendly front-of-house staff showed us to a table near the window overlooking the River Doon.

The famous Bard told of witches chasing locals across the 15th century bridge downstream, but all was quiet now.

"Is this place haunted?" screeched Toots, giving the old crones a run for their money. "No, but I'd avoid the Auld Kirk," I said, with a chuckle.

The hotel's appetisers pay homage to Burns' Address to the Haggis by putting a modern twist on the dish.

Deep fried haggis balls put Toots in the mood for more and she ordered Scotch egg with crispy bacon salad served with a whisky and Arran mustard mayonnaise to start.

I decided to try pan fried Troon bay langoustines with pea risotto and parmesan but the chef was out of langoustines.

Salad of seared northwest coast king scallops and Robertson's black pudding with apple puree seemed like the next best thing so I went for that.

The starters arrived but I realised I'd been short changed.

"Where's the black pudding?" asked the wide-eyed Moll.

The kitchen was alerted and it duly arrived with all apologies, and very nice it was too.

The strong flavour complimented the juicy scallops and sweet apple puree.

The Moll seemed to like her haggis scotch egg too because she ordered another helping of the traditional Scottish dish for her main course.

As she tucked in I enjoyed casserole of venison with red wine, juniper and rosemary which was just the ticket of a dismal winter's night.

We washed our meal down with soft drinks and turned to the desert menu.

""I'm too full for a pudding," Toots said.

But the helpful waiting staff talked her into trying iced cranachan parfait with oatmeal praline, Drambuie and honey-poached raspberries.

It wasn't a hard sell.

'Tec had a hankering for ice cream but single scoops weren't on the menu so it gave me an excuse to order the Knickerbocker Glory.

Buried among a mountain of fruit, jelly and cream was chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream so I had to work my way through the lot.

The cranachan parfait got the Moll's seal of approval.

As we headed back to the Buick I saw Toots glance over her shoulder at the river, still wary of witches.

"Let's get back to the big smoke," she said. "It's safer there."

STARTERS: Haggis scotch egg with crispy bacon salad £5.50; Salad of seared scallops and black pudding with apple puree £9.25

MAINS: Haggis, neeps and tatties £11.50; venison with red wine, juniper and rosemary £11.50

DESERTS: Iced cranachan parfait £5.50

Knickerbocker Glory £6.50

DRINKS: Appletise £1.75

Fresh orange and lemonade £2.10

Total £51.60

Brig o'Doon House Hotel, High Maybole Road, Alloway 01292 442466