A hilarious sign has allegedly popped up near a London golf course to warn residents about a "dumpy pervert" who "must be avoided".
The sign, attached to a tree, reportedly close to the Barnehurst club brands the woman as a "disgusting pervert" who attempts to tempt dog walkers to take part in dogging and is looking to arrange a "seedy get together" in a nearby field.
It reads: "[She is] friendly at first but be warned, she has an agenda.
"She and her partner are doggers, trying to test the waters to see if you want to join in their dirty antics."
The mysterious author goes on to claim that the "5ft 4" woman" tried to "touch them in [their] special place" and warns readers: "If she offers you a 10 man train or asks if you like pearly rain you know its time to walk away.
"We have all seen the stockings on the bushes. Give her a wide berth."
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