A WOMAN asked a sheriff if he was “f***ing joking” after he kept her in custody following a good report.

Melissa Sloan, 33, admitted that on November 17 last year she stole a quantity of confectionery, stationery and toys from WH Smith on Sauchiehall Street.

The sentencing sheriff decided to keep Sloan in custody to see out her time in prison despite a good report on her behaviour.

The sheriff made the decision due to concerns for her health. Sloan said: “Are you f***ing joking.”