Settling down for a night in front of the telly my friend Mae called.

“Janice, my friend Mags has invited us to a Roller Disco if you fancy it?”

“Mae, you know I’ve no balance whatsoever.”

“Don’t worry,” she laughed.

“I cannae roller skate either but it’ll be fun.”

Reluctantly, we paid our money, put on our roller skates and headed into the rink area.

To let you understand, the outside of the rink was carpeted and lined with a metal rail, which turned out to be our saving grace.

Mags came and introduced us to her friends before speeding off under the flashing disco lights leaving us disabled by the side of the skating rink frantically clutching the metal rail.

“I cannae move Janice,” Mae sounded rather panicky.

“Neither can I Mae.”

Trying our best, we shuffled in single file whilst grasping desperately on to the rail which had now become our only means of support.

“That’s twenty minutes now Mae,” I puffed, as the sweat built up somewhat on my body.

“And we are still shuffling on the same stretch of carpet.”

Precariously Mae turned to face me.

“OK Janice, let’s step on to the rink.”

Gingerly we stepped on to the wooden floor and immediately our skates became even more treacherous.

“Argh…….. I cannae stand.” Mae’s legs were now spinning at a hundred miles an hour as she slouched over the rail.

“Neither can I Mae but we’ve got to try.” I puffed, whilst tears of laughter and fear rolled down my cheeks.

Mags suddenly re-appeared.

“Are you girls OK?”

“Not really Mags.” Mae spluttered.

“We cannae leave the rail because the wooden floor’s just too slippery.”

“Maybe you should practice on the carpet for a bit longer.” Was her only solution as she left us once again.

Up and down, up and down, Mae and I wore out the same stretch of carpet before I turned to my pal, whose body was now completely ridged due to her perilous situation.

“Mae, you’re not even attempting to skate,” I pointed out.

“You’re just walking like the Tin Man.”

Mae glowered at me.

“Janice, it’s taking major effort just to stay upright.”

Out of the blue a crowd of young guys surrounded us and one of them confessed.

“This is bloody hard.”

“I know,” I agreed, admitting that this was our first time skating too.

“We’ve been here for an hour now and we still can’t leave the rail!”

One of the guys, Calvin decided to buddy up with us.

“I won’t look quite so bad if I hang about with you two,” was his reasoning.

Soon, Calvin and I struck up a little competition.

“If you let go of the rail and skate for a few feet I’ll do the same,” he challenged.

And that’s the way we played it until I spectacularly went flying landing full force on my backside.

“See.” Mae had little sympathy for her friend.

“I told you not to leave the rail.”

But as she turned around, somehow she bumped into a row of young girls who fell to the ground one-by-one like dominoes.

“Sorry.”

Mae headed to the seating area yet again whilst grasping on to any strangers clothing to steady herself.

“Sooooo…… sorry.”

Our two hours of tense, nervous endurance was almost over and Mae was STILL on the carpet clutching the rail, whilst I was in the rink with Calvin.

“Everybody off,” ordered the instructor.

And everybody did get off except me and Calvin.

“This is our last chance Janice to skate the full length of the rink.”

And like Mr Bean, Calvin finally managed to skate to the far side.

However, I found myself alone, spread-eagled and stuck like a limpet clinging on for dear life to one of the giant pillars in the middle of the floor.

“Help!” I pleaded to the instructor who was skating my way.

Without a word he grabbed my hand, dragged me from my oasis and whisked me to the edge of the floor.

Only thing was, he let go of me at speed and I came to an abrupt halt on the floor with both legs wrapped around a pole.

Relieved I had come to a stop without breaking anything, I then attempted to get up, but my wheels just kept spinning on the floor.

Next to me a young guy whose body was draped over the rail apologised.

“Sorry ……. I would give you a hand but I cannae stand up myself.”

And sure enough, like a hamster in a wheel, his legs were going faster and faster whilst getting nowhere.

Having no option, and realising that pride had long since disappeared, I rolled onto my hands and knees and crawled back to my locker.

My backside and elbows were aching, and my dark hair was stuck with sweat to my face like a spiders web when my good pal asked.

“How about paint balling next time Janice?”

Watch this space!