Catching up with my girlfriends, I brought up the subject of special days in the calendar that somebody somewhere on the planet appear to recognise.
Now I’m not talking about the usual days like birthdays, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, no I’m talking about the endless list of what I would call peculiar ‘days’.
“Has anyone heard of a Reconciliation Day?” I asked the group.
Shaking her head, Christine finally piped up. “Reconciliation Day?”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“Well what about World Hypertension Day?” I goaded, knowing that no one would have heard of it.
They all shook their heads.
“What about World Penguin Day?” I asked.
“No way Janice.” Christine was puzzled.
“People also recognise National Ferret Day, National Poultry Day, Turtle Day, and a Squirrel Appreciation Day.”
“You’re at it Janice.” Another of my pals also thought I was at the wind up.
“What are you supposed to do on Squirrel Appreciation Day?”
“Well……..” I started to explain.
“When I checked it out it said that you should go into the woods, forage for nuts and try and spot a squirrel!”
My pals looked as me as though I had finally lost the plot as I added.
“But as Squirrel Appreciation day was in January, we can give that one a miss.”
“There seems to be a lot of days set aside to appreciate animals.” Fiona pointed out.
“There certainly are, but there are also days throughout the year to celebrate or appreciate a wide variety of bizarre things.”
“Like what?” Mae was now intrigued.
“Well, for instance last Friday was National Skipping Day, which was apparently designed to help children get fit, and soon we have International Pillow Fight Day.”
“And one you might like Fiona is National Sickie Day.” Fiona tutted but knew there was an element of truth in my jibe.
“There also Bring Your Dog To Work Day.”
As a dog walker Christine thought that was right up her street.
“I bet you’ve never heard of Don’t Step on A Bee Day?” I challenged my pals.
“Janice, that’s the most stupid thing I’ve heard of in a long time.” Angela decided.
“I can go one better than that Angela.” I knew I was annoying some of my pals.
“How about National Lost Sock Day?”
“Don’t believe a word of it.” Fiona now had her phone out checking the internet as I challenged.
“I think we should all take part in one of the most bizarre days, and although it’s not until September, we could start practicing now.” I suggested.
The girls were all ears.
“It’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
Well…. for the first time that afternoon my pals were silent until.
“Talk like a pirate?” Fiona seemed confused.
“How the heck do we do that?”
“Well me matey’s.” I laughed.”
“You’ll just have to use your imagination, and as it’s your round Mae, you can go to the bar and be the first to talk like a pirate.”
Always up for a laugh, Mae suddenly jumped to her feet.
“Aarrr!” She growled transforming herself into a raider of the seas.
“Okay me hearties, I’ve got yer pieces of eight.” Mae shoogled the pint tumbler with our kitty money above her head.
“What’s yer poison?”
We couldn’t stop laughing as she approached our local friendly barman, Derek.
“Right you scurvy dog.”
Mae knew we were watching so put on her best performance.
“Me and these here scurvy bilge rats have travelled the high seas and are in much need of some ale.”
Derek just stared at Mae for what seemed like ages until I joined her at the bar.
“Shiver me timbers.” I cackled.
“Splice the mainbrace captain!”
Derek shook his head, finally catching on to the fact that we were either playing out some kind of game or we were on some kind of mind altering drugs.
“Savvy, me lassies.” He winked.
“Leave your booty on this here bar and I’ll haste speed and serve you wrinkly wenches at the stroke of three.”
“Keep her steady captain or it’ll be the Cat O Nine Tales for you.” Fiona hollered over at the bar.
“We’re practicing for National Speak Like A Pirate Day.” Christine felt she owed Derek some sort of explanation for our peculiar behaviour.
“Blow me down wench.” He laughed.
“Yer all stark raving mad.”
The hilarious banter continued for the next hour until someone mentioned modern day pirates.
“There’s no such thing.” One of my pals added.
“Yes there is.” Another argued.
“No there’s not because pirates only existed in films.” She was adamant.
“Shiver me timbers.” Derek silenced the rabble.
“It’s time you lot walked the plank.”
“Oh maybe another rum captain?” Christine pleaded.
“No way me hearties.”
“Haul yer wobbly sea legs out that door.” Derek pointed to the exit.
And looking at the motley crew he added.
“Blimey, yer all three sheets to the wind.”
And who could argue with Captain Derek.