IT is a melancholy object to those who take the train from the great railway station of Hamilton Central when they see the platforms, stairwells and ticket booth besieged by youths of the anti-social type.

Headbangers and nutters importuning every passenger and staff member; some armed with bottles, some drug taking, others impertinent with insult, all drunken yobs.

This deplorable state is no unique situation. Again, at Troon, do those who walk along the great beach despair at the sight of these youths, laden with tonic wine and spurred by sunshine to convey offensive weapons alongside beach towel and refreshment to their seaside day out.

There is not much to distinguish between each group of trouble makers, other than the scant clothing of those on the sand in comparison to those on the rough concrete awaiting the Whifflet bound train.

It is agreed by all parties that this is a unconscionable state for both our youth and those whom they harass.

Not railway staff nor police nor local elected members have been able to successfully deter misbehaviour nor find a way to successfully rear them as to ensure this behaviour is never begun.

There must be a fair, cheap and easy method of making these children sound and useful members of the Commonwealth. In fact, I believe there is and I hope it will not be liable to the least objection.

Here follows my modest proposal.

Our 2011 census shows 29.26 per cent of Scotland's population is aged under 25. This is nearly a third of our populace being ill-managed. This group suffers more crime than those older. The Scottish Crime and Justice survey finds one fifth of 16 to 24 year olds are a victim of crime, compared with 6.8 per cent of those 60 or over. The risk of being a victim of violent crime is 6.0 per cent for 16 to 24 year olds compared with 0.4 per cent of those aged 60 or over.

The University of Glasgow and NHS Health Scotland both agree, in the 'Drug-related deaths in Scotland' pamphlet, that "continued surveillance of this population is merited." It concludes that economic and social policies lead to Scotland's higher rates of mortality from drugs, alcohol and suicide, compared to England and Wales, and that history could soon repeat itself as young working-age adults suffer the effects of a flexible labour market and social security sanctions.

It is clear something must be done. Already methods are deployed at Hamilton Central, that known as a "mosquito". This remarkable device emits high pitched sounds heard only by those aged under 25. Thus, juveniles who are out of control are expelled while citizens are free to go about their business.

This dispersal approach is taking the wrong tack. There can be no distinguishing between marauding young person and decent young person. One cannot be certain which is anti-social behaviour and which is the unfortunate but harmless process of maturation.

I am assured from a friend that such worrying actions cease instantly upon the 25th birthday. Rather than dispersing young people, they must be corralled, for their protection and ours. This will be of particular appeal to certain of our middle classes, some of whom already take steps to ensure their children are segregated from the rest of the populace.

Sonic noise devices should be used to repel young people from where their elders spend their leisure: beaches, cinemas, sport facilities, etc, and keep them in localised centres where their behaviour might be monitored while they are not at work or school.

Tasks may be assigned depending on age category: the oldest might be set to care for the youngest until the youngest are able to pick up light duties such as laundry. In order that none roam abroad, we might dress them in uniform. Perhaps a suit of orange Harris Tweed, thus giving trade to a native industry.

There are those among us who would query my method. They would cry youth must be given pleasant tasks, so easily do they bore. These would point to the closure of local facilities, to the lack of accessible public transport and dearth of resources for after school activities, saying these first should be remedied.

Yet I counter thus: my plan gives a cost neutral workforce; relief for parents struggling to provide adequate nourishment for their young; removal of the unpredictability of the labour market; and ease for those under constant fire from juveniles.

I hope you will duly consider my scheme for I have nothing to profit from it but the good reputation of this country and the advancement of society.