Bit of a wind up

AH the Glasgow banter. A south side reader tells us she was walking into her local supermarket across the car park the other day when she pulled out her money from her coat pocket and one of these new slippery plastic fivers blew away in the wind. She ran after it in the car park and an auld fella who was watching her - without attempting to trap it himself - shouted out when she finally stood on it: "Aye at least you got a good run for your money!"

A bit creepy

MUCH discussion on former Scottish Labour leader Kezia Dugdale swanning off from the day job to appear on the Australian jungle show I'm A Celebrity. As reader John Neil put it: "Surely Kezia had enough of working with rats and snakes during her time at Holyrood?"

Or as another reader emailed: "Alex Salmond's advisers, 'Hosting a show on Russian Today will be the most talked about thing done by a Scottish politician this week'. Kezia Dugdale's advisors, 'Hold my beer'."

Legged it

TALKING of politics, Tony Blair's former spin doctor Alistair Campbell was being interviewed on the Sunday Politics show by Sarah Smith, daughter of former Labour leader and Scottish MP John Smith. Said Alistair afterwards: "Only new thing I learned doing media today - Sarah Smith has a small ankle tattoo. Couldn't resist saying, 'What would your Dad have said?'"

A shocker

ANNUAL charity event Children In Need was on at the weekend, and a primary school teacher tells us: "The chat in the staffroom was that Primary Seven children were planning to make biscuits with images of Pudsey, the Children in Need bear on them, and they asked if they could put Nutella in them. One teacher piped up that we had to be mindful of nut allergies, and that we didn't want anyone 'to go into prophylactic shock'."

Winging it

WE mentioned BB fitba', and reader Arthur Bell tells us that when he was only 11 he was drafted into his BB team in order to bring down the average age of the team so that they could field more 15- and 16-year-olds. Recalls Arthur: "I would stand as wide as possible as an outside right and I was basically used as a wall. Boys would pass to me and I would pass it back. Occasionally during the game, Mr McTavish the BB Captain, would give me a square of Fry’s Cream for my efforts."

Happy days!

Weighing it up

AN Ayrshire reader hears a chap at his golf club pontificate: "I had to go to the doc for my annual check-up, and after weighing me he asked if I was getting enough exercise. So I asked him if sex counts as exercise, and he said yes. So I told him, 'Well then, no, I'm not'."

That's the ticket

WE mentioned comedian Peter Kay returning to Glasgow's Hydro next year, and when tickets went on sale they were sold out in minutes, with additional shows being added. A reader helpfully gets in touch with the tip: "If you are struggling to get Peter Kay tickets, I've got good news for you - he's rubbish."

Not sweating it

A GLASGOW reader swears to us he heard a young chap in his local tell his pals: "I read somewhere that exercise helps with your decision making, and guess what, it's true. I went to the gym before I came here, and I've decided I'm never going there again."