A GLASGOW radio host has revealed she thought about taking her own life as she coped with her partner's suicide.
Amy Irons said it was only the thought of causing her family "insufferable pain" and not being around to keep boyfriend Wayne Ewer's memory alive.
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The Capital FM host is determined to share her own battle with mental health in a bid to support others and revealed how she is fighting back against the tough period in her life, including getting a tattoo of Wayne's initials 'WE' on her wrist.
She told the Daily Record: “I wanted to be with Wayne and felt I couldn’t face living a minute more in a world without him. I wanted to put a stop to the hurting.
“But, at some point, the more rational part of my brain kicked into action and made me question what I was about to do and the affect it would have on those I loved.
“I decided I couldn’t bear them having to live with the insufferable pain I’m living with now.
“Luckily, I had the vehicle to get myself out of the situation as I’m not afraid to talk about my feelings but there are others who are.”
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The 27-year-old is determined to remove the stigma arround suicide.
She said: “When folk hear the word suicide, they assume the person was depressed. But Wayne was one of the happiest people I’ve met.
“He loved his life and everyone in it. He had the most infectious smile and a foghorn laugh.”
She added: “I want to address the raw topic of suicide head on. My plan is to make a documentary about Wayne and bring in other people’s stories too.”
Dad-of-two Wayne, who grew up in Cape Town, South Africa, passed away in June.
The 34-year-old and Amy had been together for a year.
She said: “I collapsed and found it hard to accept that he was gone.
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"Wayne brought out the best in me and I still can’t imagine life without him.
“We held a beautiful memorial for him in Callander, where we let off balloons, shared stories and played his favourite music.
"His family held a similar memorial for him in Cape Town and I’m hoping to take his ashes to South Africa in the next few months.”
The former Glasgow Caledonian University student also revealed Wayne saved four lives by donating his organs, an act which has brought comfort to the DJ in her darkest moments.
She said: “The last five weeks have been the toughest of my life. What’s keeping me and all Wayne’s loved ones going is realising how blessed and lucky we were to have him in our lives.
“His initials were WE and I got them tattooed on my arm. For me, it will always be we.
“I also have a star as that’s what he was – a shooting star who burned so brightly he burned out too soon.”
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