MHAIRI'S STORY:

EVEN at 16 Mhairi McGowan was a proud feminist. She wanted to work with women and help victims.

She never thought she would become a victim herself.

Few know about the abuse that has – in part – inspired the leader of Glasgow's main organisation supporting those who have been abused by their partner.

But Mhairi, now head of service at Assist, Glasgow's specialist support and advocacy service for domestic abuse, believes her own experience has given her an insight into how abuse can affect anyone and why it is so difficult to escape.

"Otherwise I would never have been the Women's Aid Worker or the Assist worker I have been," she explained.

"But I rarely talk about it. I don't want people to think I am playing out some sort of re-victimisation scenario.

"I do what I do because I believe in the importance of the work not because I was once a victim.

"A real positive to come out of that abuse is an additional understanding that I might not otherwise have had."

Ms McGowan has spearheaded dramatic shifts in attitudes towards the treatment of victims of domestic abuse.

Energetic, assertive, driven, she is not someone that people would associate with being the victim of abuse.

"My ex-partner locked me out one night, so I phoned the police," she said.

"When they came out they said there was nothing they could do and if they forced him to let me in he was more likely to batter me.

"One night, when we had friends and family round, there was a heated discussion. He said, 'Go next door'. A pal said, 'Don't go'. I said, 'Don't be stupid'. "

She added: "When I went into the other room he picked me up and threw me across the room. I landed upside down and it took three men to pull him off me.

"I was falling into a trap I had never imagined would affect me.

"I couldn't believe it. As far as I was concerned, domestic abuse was something that happened to battered women – and I wasn't one.

"At my work I was still confident and assertive.

"I knew the only way to get out was to disappear and that was just too scary.

"I kept saying to myself, 'Well it's only happened four or five times, it's not like it happens every week'.

"When it all broke down eventually the police didn't help and I put in a formal complaint.

"After that the chief inspector contacted me and asked me to help train officers, so I told him to contact the local Women's Aid group."

It took Mhairi a long time to sort out her own issues before she could help others at Women's Aid.

"It was such a shock to realise I had been the victim of abuse," she said.

"I was a feminist, it shouldn't have happened to me. It made me realise it doesn't matter who you are. It is just so difficult to come forward.

"If someone said to me then that I would be working so closely with the police now on domestic abuse I would have laughed my head off."

CLAIRE'S STORY:

THE first time Claire's husband hit her it was "just" a slap. She packed her bags and told him she was leaving.

He begged her to stay, swore it would never happen again. By morning he had convinced her to stay. She says she was smitten with him.

"I just couldn't see it," she said. "He said it was normal for couples to argue and I accepted that.

"He told me it was my fault for being pregnant and hormonal. At the time I just didn't see the violence as that bad."

Her husband followed all the signs of a controlling abuser.

"He would check the underwear I had worn each day to see if I had had sex," Claire said. "He wouldn't let me wear make-up or perfume or look nice.

"One time, I complimented someone's perfume at work. They sprayed a little on me and when I got home he accused me of having an affair, he beat me and threw me across the room.

"I worked full-time, but after I had my fourth child I had to give up work. "I got postnatal depression and tried to kill myself eight times. He told everyone I was nuts.

"It was pride that stopped me leaving. I didn't say anything to anyone.

"He would drag me about by the hair, kick me and spit on me. He broke a lot of my teeth, my nose.

"One day I realised I just couldn't do it any more. I phoned my mum and asked her to come and get me and the kids.

"Making the decision to leave is hard, but once you're away you have all the financial and emotional problems to deal with.

"It frustrates me that people always ask: 'Why didn't she leave earlier?'

"They underestimate how difficult it is."

Claire – clutching a special alarm she has been issued – is still in danger.

There have been incidents since she left. And days at court, as well as interdicts.

"He later threatened to kill my son," she said.

"He kept phoning and coming to the house. I still don't know when I walk around the corner if he will be there."

l Not her real name. Picture posed by model

MARIE'S STORY:

SHE was watching Scooby Doo when it happened.

Marie and her youngest daughter, Holly, were sitting in front of the television when her partner came at her face with a knife and then tried to strangle her.

Her older daughter, Sophie, ran screaming to her rescue.

"He threw her across the room by her hair. That was it," she said. "I knew the next time would be fatal."

Marie called the police. "Afterwards, I cried my eyes out," she said. "I just can't believe I put up with it for so long. How could I not have seen what was happening?"

Marie was not alone. In the Strathclyde Police area 23,395 domestic abuse crimes were recorded in 2011/12. They included three murders, 11 attempted murders, 59 rapes and 862 indecent assaults.

In 2006/07 the total recorded was 14,958. That represents an increase of 56% in five years.

The jump in domestic abuse figures comes against the overall trend in Glasgow, Scotland and much of the rest of Europe for violent offending to fall.

Officers say this means victims have much greater confidence about coming forward. This, at least in part, is because of the new and unprecedented support they get.

Marie can't speak too highly of Assist, part of a major new system that catches abusers.

Victims can give information to the group without making a complaint to the police.

That means the most dangerous offenders – those who target successive partners – are identified and tackled jointly by the service and the police – even if the victim does not yet want to speak out.

Increasingly, police and prosecutors speak to previous partners of men accused of abuse to help corroborate the stories of new victims.

"We would never be where we are now if it was not for Assist," said Marie.

"Holly was suffering terrible nightmares. She had become introverted, sometimes violent.

"After the last assault she would only sleep if she was with me.

"She has worked through her feelings with drawings. In her pictures she always covered us with blankets. They said that was for protection."

Marie met her ex-partner in the pub more than 15 years ago. There was, she said, an instant attraction.

But her partner became increasingly controlling and possessive – he insisted on knowing exactly where she was at all times, banned her from wearing short skirts and would not allow her to see friends.

He started bingeing on drink and Valium.

He once beat her so hard she was asked by a teacher why she was still wearing face paint after Hallowe'en.

One night, he attacked Marie with a knife while she was sleeping with the children. Her screams prompted neighbours to call the police. He told her he would kill her if she "grassed" so, when the police arrived, she told them there was no problem.

"He said if I left him he would kill me," she said.

"Since the last assault the police have asked about the historic incidents. I know now I need to tell them everything.

"I have to make clear to my girls that it is no kind of life to lead. It's wrong to hit and it's wrong to accept being hit."

l Not her real name. Picture posed by model