A young veteran who saw comrades killed in Afghanistan has lifted the lid on her struggle to adapt to civilian life.

 

The former soldier, who spoke to the Evening Times on the condition of anonymity, joined the army as a teenager and served for more than a decade.

She fought in Iraq in 2008 and Afghanistan in 2013 at the height of both conflicts.

"I've seen people die in front of me," she said. "I've seen someone lose their legs. I was on the ground, travelling between the bases. We were a big target. We were shot at but sometimes we couldn't return fire because they used children as human shields.

"Sometimes I don't sleep all night because I have nightmares. I'm trying to talk to people about it but I find it difficult. It's like a voice in my head tells me not to tell anyone about it.

"We're programmed to be like that but we're not deprogrammed before we leave."

When she left the army she lived with relatives but had to leave because there was "constant arguing".

"It got to the point that I had to pack my bags and go because it was too stressful," she explained. "I was used to my own space and they wouldn't let me come and go as I please. They were pressuring me to get a job.

"I don't just want a job. I want a career. I worked in a call centre and I couldn't deal with it, reading a script off a screen.

"I was good at it and made a lot of sales but I couldn't sit there with people talking about boring, day to day stuff. I'm not used to mixing with civilians."

The young veteran has been living in supported accommodation at Bellrock Close for two months and hopes to move to her own flat soon.

She said: "This place made me realise how much I needed to work on myself, mentally and physically, before I went to look for work.

"I had to go to doctors and they picked up on obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety. Before I came here I just put to the back of my mind.

"Being here has made me realise there are things wrong with me and they really help you here."

She is now planning on a career as a self-employed personal trainer and intends to study at college after the summer.

"I've never been to college in my life but it's all about new challenges and I need to take it as it comes.

"I've got a plan. Phase one is getting my own place. Phase two is going to college."

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