A GRIEVING mum has told how writing a letter to her "perfect" stillborn son helped her through the trauma of losing a child.

In her own heartbreaking words, Leanne Kennedy-Bingham revealed her innermost thoughts and feelings to her baby Ben in a letter which was read out at his funeral.

Leanne, 33, was nine months and seven days' pregnant with her first child when she went into labour but, one day, after a nap she knew instinctively that something was terribly wrong because he wasn't doing his usual wriggling.

When nurse Leanne from Glasgow went to hospital her worst fears were realised - her precious baby had died in the womb and she had to give birth to her 6lb 14oz stillborn son the next day.

A post mortem showed "an insufficiency" with her placenta, which means, in Leanne's words, "it ran of steam".

She and husband Raymond, 35, a soldier, cradled their "perfect" little boy after the birth but they never got the chance to see the colour of his eyes, hear his first cry or feel his warmth.

Leanne wrote the letter to Ben because she thought, even though he never made it into the world alive, he deserved to hear about his journey.

It is also a thank you to him for making her the happiest she has ever been and bringing her even closer to her husband.

Leanne said: "Every child gets the chance to hear the story of their life but, sadly, Ben never got the chance to hear his, and that's why I wrote the letter. I also wanted to thank him for making me the happiest I've ever been."

The couple had no idea of the sex of their baby so nicknamed her bump the 'Smurf' during her pregnancy.

In her letter, Leanne revealed how she felt after seeing Ben for the first time, and how he looked the spitting image of his dad.

She wrote: "You were in perfect proportion, from your squeezable cheeks, little button nose, tiny little ears, kissable lips, right down to your manicured nails. A perfect little doll.

"Your daddy and I love you very much, no words can ever explain."

Leanne's letter, entitled Ben's Story, was read out by a minsiter at his funeral service, at Linn Crematorium in Glasgow May 14. Baby Ben's ashes were buried next to a special tree in the crematorium garden.

Leanne said: "I decided to write Ben's story as his funeral service, I was the only one who truly 'knew' him, it was the most natural thing to do. I have never been happier or more content than when he was with me, it was important for me to tell his story."

Since his death on May 3, Leanne has battled to get her life back on track, because she feels that letting her grief overcome her would have been "a total injustice to Ben" and holding on to happy memories of the nine months she spent with her son keeps her going.

She has allowed the Evening Times to print details of her letter in the hope that it will help other parents who are grieving for their children and help raise money for two charities, SiMBA and Sands, which help bereaved parents.

Leanne and Raymond married two years ago but have know each other for six years and "it was the most natural thing in the world" to have a child together.

The couple live apart much of the time because of Raymond's Army job but they see each other every month and text each other all day, every day.

Leanne has now named two stars after Ben and prints from his tiny hands and feet have been made into stone and clay casts which makes her feel like she has a "part of him forever".

Leanne hopes that reading Ben's Story will encourage people to donate to two charities which help bereaved families using these Just Giving links - www.justgiving.com/sands/donate and http://uk. virginmoneygiving.com/ charity-web/charity/finalCharityHomepage.action?charityId=1000893 or go on their website for other ways to help.

janice.burns@eveningtimes.co.uk