Are you Scottish and proud? This is your life.
1. Thou shalt own an item of clothing with tartan on it or wear a kilt at least once.
2. Thou shalt drink Irn Bru to cure a hangover.
3. Thou shalt turn a supermarket upside down trying to find a bottle of Irn Bru with my clan on the label.
4. Thou shalt use the word s***e and never use the word s**t when describing something that is, well pure s***e.
5. Thou shalt never ask why, thou shalt always demand how.
6. Thou shalt support ABE - Anyone but England. It's not bitter, it is the right thing to do.
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7. Thou shalt tell people Andy Murray is Scottish, he is never British. Winning or losing.
8. Thou shalt paint the saltire on my face at a major sporting event.
9.Thou shalt take taps aff as soon as there is a bit of sunshine, assuming I am a man.
10. Thou shalt always carry a brolly, even abroad.
11. Thou shalt shout here we, here we, here we f***ing go as a sign of celebration.
12. Thou shalt randomly check that the Duke of Wellington has his traffic cone on his head.
13. Thou shalt try a bottle of Buckie at least once.
14. Thou shalt endlessly vote for Scottish contestants in reality TV shows like X Factor. Nicholas McDonald, The MacDonald Brothers and Michelle McManus I've got your back even if it hurts my bank balance.
15. Thou shalt buy my first born The Broons and Oor Wullie every Christmas until they tell me to stop doing so.
16. Thou shalt deep fry anything I choose to. Anything is game. Mars bar supper anyone?
17. Thou shalt know the lyrics of The Proclaimers 500 Miles.
18. Thou shalt have a Scottish crush. See James McAvoy, Gerard Butler...you get the idea.
19. Thou shalt honour the cast of Trainspotting
20.Thou shalt smile and nod when a foreigner tells me about their auntie's cousin's pal's sister who is married to a Scot.
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