IT was surely the most predictable poll result of 2013 or any other year.

A majority in Britain believes the Tories represent only the interests of the rich.

That ComRes survey in November takes the prize for stating the obvious, especially in Scotland.

It's hard to imagine Scots once voted for the nasty party of the Poll Tax and the Bedroom Tax.

Tory influence here declined from the 1960s.

Today they are as endangered as the industrial heritage they destroyed.

Conservatives hold just one Scottish seat in Westminster, 15 of 129 in the Scottish Parliament, and 116 of 1220 council seats.

Jings and crivvens, they can't even find one of their own to front Bitter Together.

Scotland rejected a party out of touch with ordinary lives, a soft touch for dodgy bankers, city fat cats, and multi-national tax dodgers.

We've become sickened by grotesque wage inequalities and seeing corporate incompetence and dishonesty rewarded with golden handshakes and new cushy billets rather than cells.

And yet the Tories governed Scotland for more than half of the 20th century, and still rule today. And we didn't vote for them.

The tragedy for Scotland is that the Labour party that once prided itself on being the champion of the working class is as extinct as our heavy industry.

Public school millionaires now dominate all three main Westminster parties.

The ConDems trumpet about equality, while all but six of David Cameron's 29-strong cabinet are millionaires, and Red Ed's Shadow Cabinet has at least seven.

The PM wants people outside Scotland to join the referendum debate (the latest daft idea being English comedians - Eddie Izzard was mentioned - coming up hear to charm us into staying in the Union. What, Dave hasn't enough Scottish jokers?).

But you won't see Dave's head above the parapet. The PM is not as daft as some Tory policies would have you believe.

Alex Salmond has challenged him to a TV head-to-head but Cameron admits he'd be on to a loser, because he is perceived as a "toff".

At PM's Questions last week, Glasgow Labour MP and Bitter Together pitbull Ian Davidson told Cameron: "Without seeking to give offence, the last thing Scots who support the No campaign want as their representative is a Tory toff from the Home Counties, even one with a fine haircut."

The short back and sides jibe followed Cameron's decision to award an MBE to his barber Lino Carbosiero (who would go down well in Kirkcaldy).

Mr Cameron laughed off what sounded like blatant anti-English sentiment from a pro-Unionist, replying: "I humbly accept that while I am sure there are many people in Scotland who would like to hear me talk about this issue, my appeal doesn't stretch to every single part."

But Mr Davidson was merely emulating that ComRes poll by stating the obvious, as was former First Minister Henry McLeish when he stated that Cameron's "rich posh image" and "damaging" policies epitomise everything Scots hate about the Conservatives.

Yet Scottish Labour MPs and MSPs are happy to get in bed with him and denigrate their own country.

Messrs Salmond and Cameron know a face-off will never happen, but that will only inspire wee Eck to make the No campaign squirm with more "big fearty" jibes.

Mr Cameron resorts to pot and kettle when he accuses Salmond of avoiding a debate with Bitter Together front man Alistair Darling.

Did you ever think to see a Tory PM hand a Labour back-bencher the authority to speak for the UK government?

And not just any old back bencher. Mr Darling was chancellor when the Good Ship Britannia hit the financial rocks and his No campaign has been savaged by senior Tories as "comatose" and "useless".

Wee Eck running scared of The Eyebrows? You're having a laugh.

Yet he says the Scottish referendum has nothing to do with him, guv.

If Mr Cameron won't face Salmond, or allow his opinions to be directly challenged, then he should take Davidson's advice and shut it.

And I don't need a ComRes poll to know a majority of Scots will agree with that.

THE only guaranteed way to reduce public consumption of sugar - or any other dodgy ingredients - lies with manufacturers.

Boffins can warn all they like about obesity, diabetes, heart disease and even Alzheimer's. It won't happen.

Why? Because most of the stuff that passes for food today would taste horrible without it.