I BET you never thought you'd see the day when the Tories had a go at bankers.
Not before time, you say, but save your breath. David Cameron's mob as usual have opted for the easy target, namely foodbanks.
Only the Tories deny a growing weight of evidence linking foodbank use to the rising cost of living and No 10's own savage welfare reforms.
The ConDem Government - although one suspects Nick Clegg's numpties had little say in this - have the gall to claim brutal benefit cuts will HELP children escape poverty.
That's the gist of a fairytale the UK sent to the United Nations about implementing the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Such outrageous guff will be a surprise to the parents of almost 40,000 children in Glasgow now living below the bread line.
Child poverty already affects one fifth of Scots kids and is predicted by 2020 to rise by 100,000 more, and 900,000 across the UK. More than 870,000 people live in poverty in Scotland today and a third of households are in fuel poverty.
But the Tories are unmoved. Their true blue mantra is epitomised by Lord Freud, a millionaire (naturally) Work and Pensions minister, who claims people use foodbanks only because they're free.
It's no surprise this unelected peer, with his multi-bedroomed mansion, was the architect of the bedroom tax and Universal Credit.
The former investment banker (naturally) is not the only one out of touch with reality on the street. What does he know about being short of a bob or two?
His Lordship is not being naive, merely playing politics. Of course people milk the system. Politicians and their fat cat backers know all about that.
Yes, some unemployed folk who already live on state aid can still afford fags and booze and to watch Sky TV on their 50in plasmas and get PlayStations and the latest trainers for the kids.
But using them to demonise foodbanks and everyone on benefits is a Tory smokescreen behind which they and their media cronies peddle "skivers versus strivers" scaremongering.
By the same token, I don't believe a million or more people would starve without access to foodbanks.
But they are a boon to folk, working and otherwise, trying to improve their quality of life, and why the hell shouldn't they? I don't see the rich rushing to relinquish their annual heating allowance or their other freebies.
That foodbanks have become indispensable - and shamefully seen as normal - is damning recognition that the government of the world's seventh richest economy doesn't give a toss for the poor. It was ever thus with the Tories and Scotland.
What's normal about a working parent's shame at being unable to afford food for their child? What's normal, in 2014 Glasgow, about the Evening Times having to mount its Food For Thought campaign?
And Ed Miliband and his pseudo socialists needn't crow. Foodbanks were here long before the coalition slunk into power.
Between 2005 and 2010, when the UK was wrecked by Labour under Blair and Brown - the same double act that still claims to know what's best for Scotland - the number of people using Trussell Trust food- banks soared from 2814 to 40,898.
A combination of the Tories' swingeing benefit changes - and only a handful of Labour MPs voted against them - falling wages, the cost of living and debt problems have seen that number rocket.
The Trust claim 913,138 people, including 330,205 children, received three days' emergency food in 2013-14.
The number who used their foodbanks in Scotland in the past year rose to 71,428, from 14,332 between 2012-2013.
And all the while the Tories spend billions on Trident, illegal wars, aid to such as cash-rich India, EU waste, fat cats' bonuses, and allowing tax avoidance scams.
We're even giving money to Sudan, one of the most corrupt nations and where an Islamic court sentenced to death a pregnant woman for marrying a Christian.
In that company, food cheats are lightweights. And you can take that to the bank.
RECENT high-profile security breaches have experts again predicting the demise of traditional passwords.
Eye scans and fingerprints will be a welcome change to birthdays, anniversaries and the name of your last budgie, because creating a new password can be mind-numbing.
Please enter your new password: haggis
Sorry, the password must be more than eight characters: flying haggis
Sorry, the password must contain one numerical character: 25 flying haggis
Sorry, the password cannot contain blank spaces: 25scunneredflyinghaggis
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character: Stick25Scunnered FlyingHaggisWhere TheSunDontShine
Sorry, that password is already in use.