THEY say Scotland's national dress got its name because the highlanders kilt the first joker who called it a skirt.
The outfit has been getting a lot of stick lately - or to be precise the version favoured by our Commonwealth Games chieftains.
We're always told that the best fashion shopping experience outside London can be found in Glasgow's Style Mile.
So how come many folk think Team Scotland's uniform for the opening ceremony was sourced off a stall at The Barras?
They have labelled this fashion faux pas "Made in Scotland, from curtains".
You must have seen it by now, a turquoise and pink tartan, caramel socks and shoes, shirts and wrap-round maiden aunt length dresses in the same garish blue design.
It's a definite throwback to my granny's gingham tablecloth and matching curtains.
And I remember she even had a pinny to match.
At least it will never go out of fashion. It will look just as bad next year.
It's a bit late to say don't blame the designer.
Jilli Blackwood, like some of her internationally sought- after and award-winning textiles, has already been hung out to dry.
The Glaswegian gave the customer only what they wanted, and in this case the customer definitely wasn't right, according to Jock Public, fashion expert.
Check out the lassie's website. Timid and boring it's not, and you will be hard pressed to believe that the innovative and outlandish designs pictured on there were created by the same person who thought up these downmarket grocery chain duds.
Games bosses chose Jilli because of her off the wall Glasgow designs at the 2010 Games handover ceremony in Delhi, and then they confiscated her scissors and her colour palette.
I would be intrigued to see her designs they rejected.
I can't believe the final product was the personal favourite of the Glasgow School of Art graduate ("No wonder they tried to burn it down", said one tasteless if humorous critic).
I don't mind the tartan - although the Tartan Army were unhappy the male models hadn't gone commando - but the rest grates.
I prefer something a little more stirring, more St Andrews cross blue, which at least features in the competition kit.
But what do I know? It's all personal preference, and a petition to scrap the uniform had around 27,000 signatures the last time I looked.
There will certainly be the same number out there who like it but the internet is a magnet for negative souls.
Would I wear it? In a heartbeat, if it meant I was representing my country.
For such an unlikely scenario, I would proudly don pink tartan speedos.
The Games are a sporting event, not a fashion contest, although my Auntie Marjory Down Under in Perth says wait until you see the Aussie kit!
The home nation will be last to enter Celtic Park on July 23.
Believe me, our 310-strong team of 142 women and 168 men will make a superb sight, whatever they're wearing.
And more than one billion TV viewers will be in no doubt whatsoever which are the Scots in the parade of 6500 top athletes from 71 countries.
It's another over-reaction, like the stooshie over the proposed demolition of the Red Road Flats.
I said then we have more to be worrying about, and that's even truer today.
There were complaints of "shambolic" organisation at the weekend Diamond League athletics meeting at Hampden, despite there being only 10,000 spectators. Four times that is expected on July 23.
Weekend reports also raised the spectre of empty seats, with claims 50,000 tickets are unsold, even some for the opening and closing ceremonies and events set to feature Mo Farah and Usain Bolt.
We're hearing of health risks posed by the 36 athletes and officials from Sierra Leone, where the deadly Ebola virus is said by one English sanitation expert "to be scarily out of control".
It kills up to 90% of those infected and has no known cure.
There are police and transport staffing concerns over shift changes, howls from residents about parking restrictions and traffic management, and what are the odds on Glasgow staying dry for 11 days?
And does it grate with anyone else that Glasgow 2014 banners display the name of sponsors Atos, the company used by the Tories to carry out barbaric fit for work tests on sick and disabled Weegies?
Still, I'm confident it will be all right on the night. Costing £563m at the last count, you would hope so.
At least the medal ceremonies won't suffer the usual off-key vocal accompaniment to the dirge-like Flower of Scotland. Now that's what you call a national disaster.