1 Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
2 Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
3 Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
4 People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
5 Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party'.
6 What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
7 Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a 6ft-tall rat.
8 In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say, 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'
9 The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
10 Nanu Nanu