In modern society sex often comes with a degree of judgement. Everyone does it and everyone enjoys it, and yet still there are endless eyebrows raised at anyone considered even remotely promiscuous. As every female I’ve ever known will agree, it seems even more so that this judgement is saved particularly for women. A girl who sleeps with multiple people is called every name under the sun and a guy who does the same, is simply a lad. Is it fair? Of course not, but that’s the world we currently live in. With this in mind I’ve been asked by a number of women, “When is the right time to take things to the next level?”

It’s almost disappointing to hear a girl ask this because deep down the only reason a girl would ever ask this is a fear of being judged or in order to conform to outdated traditions or expectations. In reality, however, girls may ask this question in order to determine two key points: are they going to scare a guy off by rushing into things and giving the guy the wrong impression? Or are they going to scare a guy off by doing the complete opposite - waiting too long. This is of course only relevant if the girl wishes to take control of the situation, but why wouldn’t you?

Glasgow Times:

I guess that’s where I come in, if girls are worried what guys are thinking maybe I can answer any potential dilemma. On the other hand, perhaps girls needn’t actually worry at all?

It’s always difficult to generalize men or any other group in society for that matter because naturally everyone is different. There is a general assumption about men, however, that we quite literally want sex as soon as physically possible. Sure it is true of some and yes it’s most likely crossed our mind within two minutes of laying eyes you, but fewer than you think would actually act on such an urge.

The important thing to remember is that the decisions we make when it comes to relationships aren’t defined by numbers. 1 date, 3 dates, 5 dates, how much does it really matter? Should we really deny the inevitable just to save face and feel a little bit more lady-like or gentlemanly? I’m not saying throw yourself at the next guy who comes along, I’m just saying don’t stress about it. At the end of the day it’s the individual circumstances that matter, not the number of dates you can count on your fingers.

For me personally I would rule out anything happening on a first date, not because I would be judgmental in any way but because it’s nice to leave a little bit to the imagination and ultimately have something to look forward to. The start of the relationship is always the best, in fact sometimes when you’ve been in a relationship for a while you forget just how good the start is, so savour it!

After the first date just let things flow, don’t over-think things it’ll only send you round in circles. Any reasonably down to earth guy should have the common sense to know if a girl is particularly casual when it comes to sexual partners or whether a girl has merely got carried away or simply just made the most of what is a strong mutual attraction. So never worry too much about what a guy’s thinking - the right guys will always judge the situation appropriately. Man or woman, just don’t over-complicate things - relationships are meant to be fun!

Glasgow Times:

Elsewhere in the dating world, this week two new apps were launched. Coffee Meets Bagel saves time and prioritises quality over quantity by sending users one potential match which it calls a bagel delivery every day at 12pm. Have you ever heard such rubbish? An app choosing ‘the one’ for you! I’m not the biggest fan of Tinder but imagine only being able to swipe for one person per day? Plus nothing more romantic than being likened to a bagel is there?

On the other hand AirDates is a little bit more exciting, particularly if you’re a frequent traveler. This isn’t something you’re likely to use on a daily basis, but it’s an app that may make those long journeys that little bit more interesting. AirDates allows users to connect with each other in airports and continue the conversation during your flight without the need for Wi-Fi. Ok so not something we’re all going to rush straight to the appstore for unless we’re going on holiday anytime soon, but top marks for originality!

As ever send me your dating dilemmas. I’m particularly keen to hear your dating stories whether good, bad, funny or downright awful!

Have a great week.

PTB