“SOMETIMES people can be hilarious,” I thought to myself as I finally sat down on the late night train home from work.

And the reason was that I had been walking along Sauchiehall Street towards the train station when all of a sudden I came within earshot of what sounded like a bit of a commotion ahead of me.

As my pace quickened, I was greeted with a sight the likes of which I’ve never seen before.

I was stopped in my tracks by two visually impaired people heading my way.

Now, why would I stop at the sight of visually impaired people I hear you ask?

After all, it’s certainly not uncommon to see people out and about with a walking stick or a guide dog.

No, what was unusual about this pair was that he had a walking stick and she had a guide dog, and they were obviously very inebriated.

The poor guide dog was doing its very best to guide its female owner in a straight line.

However, having consumed a few bevvies, she was tugging at the frustrated beast and pulling it in the opposite direction.

Her partner, (and I only surmised this because they were holding hands), had a white stick.

However, this white stick resembled Harry Potter’s Smelting Stick and it seemed to have a life all of its own.

Instead of gently tapping it in front of his feet for guidance as he stumbled along, the stick was rattling off shop windows and doors, up high and down low. Refuse bins, seating and anything else that was in his path got rattled.

The dog was pulling the couple in one direction while the magic stick was only just missing passers-by.

But the funniest thing about it all was that the couple were completely oblivious to the mayhem around them.

And I thought “Only in Glasgow.”

A few days later I was invited to stay with my daughter Jenna and her family at a lovely caravan park in Perthshire.

“Great,” I enthused. “Hope it’s dry tomorrow so we can go for a lovely long walk.”

“I hope so,” was the sarcastic sounding reply from Jenna.

“We don’t want to go for a walk,“ moaned Eilidh and Taylor the two eight-year-olds. “It’s boring.”

“No it’s not,” I thought it was time for some much needed encouragement.

“We can walk through the forest and along by the river.”

Their glum faces didn’t look the slightest bit interested.

“And you never know what we might find,” I encouraged.

“Like what?”

“Hidden treasure,” I replied attempting to glamorise the outing.

“Don’t be daft,” answered smarty pants Eilidh.

“We’ll never find hidden treasure ... we’re not pirates.”

“Ok then,” I answered getting rather irked by their lack of motivation or excitement for the great outdoors.

“Perhaps we could search for fossils,” I suggested.

“Eh?”

“Or some pine cones.”

“Eh?”

“How about some smooth shiny rocks.”

“Eh?”

The kids were looking at me as thought I had suggested they search for homework.

“You know we might even see some squirrels or deer ... or even a frog.”

“I think you’re wasting your time there Janice,” laughed my son-in-law Tony.

“They would need to find a Tyrannosaurus Rex before they’d get excited.”

However, next day we headed off on our walk.

And with their faces tripping them, the two eight-year-olds couldn’t understand the point of going for a walk and were determined not to show any signs whatsoever of having fun.

“We don’t even walk to school,” I overheard them muttering.

Twenty five minutes into the walk and ... “I need the toilet.”

“I need a drink.”

“I need something to eat.”

“I need a rest.”

“Bloody hell,” I sighed. “We’ve only just started.”

But despite my protestations Tony had taken it upon himself to down tools and have a rest.

“Follow me,” he said beckoning towards a short steep path off the road and down towards a pebble beach area beside the loch.

The moaning and groaning had temporarily stopped as the von Trapp family sat dotted about on rocks while they consumed every last sandwich, packet of crisps and piece of chocolate they could get their hands on.

Suddenly, our intrepid explorer David Livingstone, AKA Tony, roared at the top of his voice.

“Kids. Kids. Come over here and see what I’ve found.”

The kids scurried to their feet.

“Maybe he has found treasure,” enthused Eilidh.

“Or maybe it’s a dead body,” said Taylor whose macabre imagination was running wild with excitement.

“At last,” I thought to myself. “A bit of enthusiasm for the great outdoors.”

Tony was standing with an outstretched arm holding a familiar shaped object in his hand.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve found?” he teased as we got closer.

“It’s Buckfast,” he proudly announced.

Now it was my turn to say “Eh?”

“Buckfast ... in a can. I bet none of you have ever seen that before."

Tony was still excited: “Buckfast ... in a can. Who’d have thought?”

I shook my head in disbelief as the von Trapps studiously examined the unfamiliar object before agreeing that it was indeed and unusual find.

And Tony was right. In a million years I would never have guessed that one.