Happy New Year to you.

Now I'm aware that I'm two weeks late but as this is my first column of 2016 I feel it's only polite to wish you all a prosperous and happy year.

So it's hello to our old friend January, a month we all dread financially after the fortune we blew on copious nights outs and Christmas cocktails, but yet a month we also long for to save us from ourselves and the festive food and drink frenzy we’ve been indulging in for the past six weeks.

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As a result I've hit the typical January panic button and joined a local slimming club, signed up for a 12 month gym membership and I've stuck a picture of Kelly Brook (above) in a swimsuit on my fridge with a snap of my head glued on to her neck for thinspiration.

I've decided though, that this is definitely going to be my year to get into that bikini I bought back in 1999 that still has the tags on it.

It's that old now it really should be in the People's Palace along with the old Nokia mobile phone I found in a box under my bed recently which, by the way, still works and has a whopping £2.75 in credit.

None of this though can really kick in until the end of the month as I'm currently lying by a pool in the blistering sunshine, drinking a frozen cocktail at midday after having two slices of cold pizza for breakfast, and to be perfectly honest, I'm contemplating having the remaining two for lunch so it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to solve the mystery of Michelle McManus and her expanding waistband does it?

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On to other matters, however, and only two weeks into 2016 it's all go in the showbiz world starting off with no one you've ever heard of entering the Big Brother House; Texan model Jerry Hall has got engaged to a loathsome old fossil, as is her way; and poor Cheryl FernandezVersini (above) is getting divorced again, although chin up Cheryl doll as some of us have never even had one marriage proposal never mind two.

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On a serious note however, the world was stunned this week to learn of the sad passing of David Bowie (above), one of the true icons of music.

The influential musician had a career spanning six decades with hits that include Let's Dance, Space Oddity, Heroes, Under Pressure, Rebel, Rebel, and my own personal favourite, the very haunting, Life on Mars.

He had been battling cancer very privately for the past 18 months and I genuinely shed a tear when I read a tweet from his wife Iman.

She said: “Sometimes you will never know a true value of a moment until it becomes a memory” which is so true and l'm sure the music world will mourn this great loss for many years to come.

So as for 2016 I've no idea what's still to come.

Maybe Donald Trump will come to his senses and do everyone a favour and go into his local barbers and ask for a number 1 all over; maybe wee Miley Cyrus will finally grasp the concept of underwear; and maybe, just maybe, Simon Cowell will finally give the nation the gift they've all been waiting on and kill off X Factor for good.

Who knows but one thing that better happen this year or there’ll be merry murder on the cards let me tell you, is that old antique bikini that's gathering dust in my bottom drawer better be seeing the light of day and getting clamped onto my bahookie this summer.

There I've said it so watch this space.

I'm so very excited to debut my brand new one woman show Michelle McManus Pop Goes The

Idol at this year's Glasgow Comedy Festival in March.

This will be my 3rd instalment in my one woman series and your very first chance to see the new show before it hits the Edinburgh Festival in August later this year.

For those of you who haven't seen the show before it's a real mix of comedy, storytelling and great sing along songs.

The first half of the evening will be the new festival show and the second half will be an acoustic set with chat and songs from The Meaning of Love Album and some classic covers of some of the biggest hits over the past 50 years.

It will be a great night out and I really hope to see you all there for one night only.

Michelle McManus: Pop Goes The Idol 8pm Tuesday 22nd March 2016 at The Citizens Theatre.

Tickets can be purchased by visiting www.glasgowcomedyfestival.com or by calling 08448737353.