Friday after work, my pal Susie and I were looking forward to chilling with a few drinks in her local pub in Hamilton.

During our train journey, we got chatting about the various texts alerts we now get from shopping channels, supermarket deliveries and various others sources.

“Look Janice,” She enthused. “This is a great idea.”

“My local chemist sent me a text to remind me to pick up my prescription.”

“Brilliant Suzie,” I agreed.

“In fact,” She said. “If we hurry up we could get there before it closes at 6pm.”

Funnily enough, I thought to myself, it’s conveniently on route to the pub.

Rushing like mad, we only had 15 minutes before the chemist closed and we huffed and puffed our way to the chemist, making it there with moments to spare.

“Awe no, check out the queue Janice,” Suzie was starting to sound harassed.

“I’ll need to wait as I’m busy all day tomorrow and can’t pick it up then.”

“No problem Suzie.” I said. “I’ll just browse the makeup.”

Now Suzie is renowned for her impatience and will avoid a queue situation at all costs, however, tonight she had no option but to wait.

I could tell by the way she was fidgeting and shuffling from one foot to the other, that this was a form of torture for Suzie, but after a few moments she was next in line, and I breathed a sigh of relief, which was sadly very short lived as I listened in as my pal started to chat to the patient young assistant about her prescription.

“I know it’s nearly 6 o’clock, but I need to pick up my prescription please.”

“My name and address is Susan …… at …… Road, Hamilton.”

The helpful young assistant who was called Louise disappeared in search of Suzie’s prescription, but returned empty handed a few minutes later.

“Sorry but there’s nothing here with your name on it for collection,” she explained.

Quick as a flash I turned to look at the nearest product, which happened to be bunion cream, as I could sense an impending eruption from my pal.

“Aha.” Suzie reacted with an air of triumph, which surprised me.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she scoffed.

The helpful and now bemused assistant watched as Suzie proceeded to empty the contents of her handbag on to the counter top as she tried to locate her mobile phone.

“You see.” Suzie turned to Louise.

“I was just telling my pal Janice how brilliant it was that I now receive text alerts to remind me to pick up my medication.

“Now just wait a minute till I find it.”

She then started scrolling through her text messages until she found the alert from the chemist.

“See.” She thrusted the phone into Louise’s face whilst pointing to the text message.

“You text me that on Monday and I called your shop and you confirmed that the prescription was here.”

Suzie was now sounding rather high pitched.

“And I asked that it be put aside as I would collect it today.”

Suzie barely stopped for breath.

“So could you find it for me?”

“Don’t worry Janice,” Suzie attempted to appease me.

“Five minutes from now and we’ll be sitting with a nice glass of Pinot Grigio.”

“Could I ask the two of you to wait in there?” Louise interrupted whilst pointing to a side room which was normally used for methadone users and private consultations.

“That way it doesn’t look like we’re open and still serving customers.”

Reluctantly Suzie and I sat like a couple of undesirables in the wee pokey side room for what seemed like ages.

“Soooooo….. sorry.” Louise returned looking rather sheepish.

“But we’ve sent your prescription back to the surgery as it wasn’t collected.”

I thought Suzie was about to explode.

“You’ve what?”

“Sent it back?”

“But….”

Attempting to calm her down Louise offered.

“I can give you an emergency five-day supply of medication to tide you over.”

Finally, Suzie and I plonked ourselves down in her local pub.

“My shout,” I offered “What do you fancy?”

“I’d better take these tablets first Janice.” Suzie was being sensible.

“I don’t want to take them on an empty stomach, so get me a packet of crisps.”

“And believe me.” She was still ranting on. “My stomach is empty after the blinkin wait we’ve had.”

Suzie then proceeded to swallow her first lot of medication, washed down by a mouthful of Italy’s finest Pinot Grigio.

Ooooh…… lovely.” She sighed.

At last, all was well, until I skimmed through the list of side effects of Suzie’s medication and reluctantly had to break the news.

“Suzie.”

“Sorry, but must not be taken with alcohol!”