Kids say the funniest things, so the saying goes.

And my six-year-old nephew's one liners are legendary.

I am collecting them for him, in case he ever needs reminded about how much he makes us laugh.

The hilarity is a brilliant mix of a wild imagination and painful honesty.

And timing.

Thanks to the latter, all anyone remembers about my wedding ceremony, three years ago, was him interrupting the VOWS to ask me if I liked raisins. Yes, raisins.

Because he does.

And he was eating some, presumably given to him by someone who thought they might keep him quiet during this momentous occasion that was over a year in the planning? Good work, that person.

So, question answered (I said "I do" and not for the first time that day) and he counted out a few into my hand, taking his time of course.

Then he took himself off for a wee amble up the aisle as my guests tried their best to stifle their laughter.

In hindsight, he made the day. As a child's unpredictable humour often does.

So, I have decided to let him do the rest of the talking on this one and share with you his excellent observations.

On history: "Who invented toilets? Jesus or dinosaurs?"

On Angelina Jolie's dramatic performance in Maleficent: "She thinks she's sliced bread, she does."

On Beatles classics: "We all live in a Purple Aubergine....."

On his baby cousin: "Maybe I could just take him up to the top of the big, big chute and push him down without holding his hand?"

On the his baby cousin again, a few months later while learning to walk: "I think he might be drunk? What do you think?"

On me, finally succeeding with the pretence that I enjoy chasing him around a sweaty soft play for an hour: "You have been quite good fun in here today, it makes a change actually."

On ageing gracefully: "The next time we are at the shops why don't we get you some cream to fix the lines on your face?"

On the the laws of the playground: "But I didn't know I was pushing that girl too hard until the teacher gave me into trouble."

On setting down roots: "When should I start looking for a wife?"

On WWE wrestlers: "If I do exercises, will I have pips like them?" We think he meant pecks?

On pleasantries: "Hello there, ma wee darling."

The list goes on an on.

I hope this boy brightened up your day like he does ours.

Do you have a hilarious child's one-liner to share? Leave in the comment section below.