MY usual Sunday catch up with the girls led to a discussion about what it takes to be successful and have a happy life.

A bit of a heavy subject for what’s usually a light hearted blether I thought, but I went along with the chat anyway.

“Meditation.” Suggested Christine.

“Setting goals.” Advised Mae.

“Well.” I butted in.

“Funnily enough, I’ve just been on a two day course called The Power of Positive Thinking and Taking Action.”

All eyes were on me as the girls urged me to spill the beans on what I had learned on my course.

However, one of the group, Moira, was unusually quiet and looked thoroughly miserable.

Nevertheless, I was bursting with energy and enthusiasm after my two day ‘pep talk’, and couldn’t help but share my newly learned skills with everyone in earshot.

“If you do this...” I dictated.

“And if you practice daily ...” I rambled on.

“It’ll change your life.”

I thought I had the answer to everyone’s problems.

Distracted by Moira’s quietness and eyes which were red raw and swollen, I enquired.

“Are you okay, Moira?”

“It’s Brian.” She sobbed. (Brian is her husband of many years).

“Has he had an accident?” We wondered.

“No.” Moira sobbed. “I’ve just had enough of living with him.”

We gathered around the table and listened intently as Moira continued with her saga.

“He never takes me out.” She sobbed. “And... he sits in the other room most evenings.”

“That’d be a bonus!” I thought to myself.

“He ignores me and I feel like a stranger in my own home.”

“Oh my.” I feigned a sympathetic smile.

“Have you tried talking to him?” I knew it was a stupid question but didn’t know what else to ask.

”Umpteen times.” She blubbed.

“He’s been like this for months.”

But lucky for Moira, I now had my positive thinking head on, and decided to give her some sound advice.

“Moira.” I took a deep breath. “Nothing will change until you do, so there’s no point in going over and over the same old issues week in and week out.”

I was starting to sound like my lecturer. “Do you know what you need to do Moira?”

“What?” Our desperate friend shrugged as she patiently waited to hear my life changing advice.

“Well...” I started with my plan for Moira’s new life.

“If you want to improve your life with Brian, you must write a list of everything that you need him to change.”

“OK.” A dejected Moira nodded.

“And what’s crucial Moira.”

My pupil was all ears.

“Is that you set a date for the changes on this list to be implemented by.”

“Eh?” She looked confused.

“Moira, you must give Brian a period of time to change, and set a date for these changes to be made.”

“But...”

“No buts Moira, positive thinking and taking action is required here.”

“Okay.” Moira looked as though she had been given the key to a new and exciting future with her husband Brian.

However, a few weeks passed, during which time none of us had spoken to Moira, so we naturally deduced that my new found expert advice on positive thinking and taking action had worked.

Sunday afternoon and we all gathered in the pub and settled down for a blether when suddenly, a rather flustered and blotchy faced Moira burst in.

“We haven’t seen you for a few weeks Moira.” One of the group was courageous enough to ask.

“Is everything all right with Brian?”

“Well, let me fill you in on the fantastic suggestion of positive thinking and taking action.”

She took a large swig of wine and her outburst began. “I drew up a must-change list as advised.”

“And... I even set the date of 2nd of April for it to be implemented.””

“That was yesterday.” Christine clarified.

“And last night when I got home from work Brian was nowhere to be seen.” She sobbed.

“And I found a note saying that he had left me.”

“Oh no.” My sound advice had backfired.

“He might come back.” Mae tried to be positive.

“The note, which by the way was written on the back of my must-change list, said that after 25 years he had no intention of changing anything on my bloody list and that he had gone for good.”

“A list?” Yvonne was confused because unfortunately, she hadn’t been at our previous catch up. “What bright spark told you to make a list?”

All eyes focused on me.