IT’S Friday the 13th, a day regarded by some superstitious people as being one of the most unlucky days in the entire year – well, this and those other odd days when I get caught whizzing down a street in Glasgow which has overnight become a bus lane and promptly fined 30 smackers by the council for the pleasure.

Don’t even get me started on Glasgow city centre’s bonkers one-way system.

Seriously though, Friday the 13th is a date dreaded by many people in western society so much so that the fear of the number 13 has actually been given a scientific name: “triskaidekaphobia” (try saying that after a few sherries on a Saturday night).

According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people are affected by a fear of this day, making it the most feared day and date in history.

Glasgow Times:

Some people are so paralysed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed.

Thankfully though, this dreaded date falls only once this year, but unfortunately today’s that day.

I would say stay indoors to be on the safe side but since the weather gods seem to have taken a shine to us Scots this week (quite literally) and given us glorious weather, staying indoors really isn’t an option.

Instead I’d say get on the sunscreen, don’t walk under any ladders, pray a lovely wee black cat doesn’t cross your path, cover all mirrors in bubble wrap to avoid a potential seven years’ bad luck and no matter how much you’re missing the rain, don’t even think about opening up an umbrella indoors.

If you follow all of this you should be absolutely fine and enjoy a perfectly pleasant Friday although a final word of caution to avoid the worst luck of all. Get yourself an updated map of Glasgow City Centre familiarise yourself with any sneaky new bus lanes.

THIS week has all been a bit ‘gaffalicious’, what with the Queen, the prime minister and Whitney Houston enthusiast Baroness Michelle Mone all putting their collective feet right in it.

Or in Michelle’s case randomly picking up a small man who she’d accidentally mistaken for a child while cooing and awing over him like Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toons.

I’ll bet good money that as Ms Mone swept that wee man up into her arms she proclaimed that she would “hug him and kiss him and love him forever” in her best Elmyra voice.

As for our fearless Prime Minister David Cameron well, he was overheard on Tuesday telling the Queen that the leaders headed to Britain this week for an anti-corruption conference are from “some fantastically corrupt countries.” He singled out Nigeria and Afghanistan as “possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world.” Which, let’s be honest, is slightly #awkward as it’s now come to light that these two countries have in fact received £435million from British taxpayers alone in the last year.

Then on the same day, the Queen herself was overheard saying Chinese officials were “very rude” to the British ambassador during President Xi Jinping’s state visit to the UK last October. I think we can pretty much say Tuesday was a free for all on the old gaffe stakes but don’t worry ma’am, we’ve all been there.

It was only recently a woman stopped me in the street where I live and said: “It’s you isn’t it?” To which I smugly replied: “Yes, yes it is me. Michelle McManus, international sex kitten, friend to the stars, citizen of the world.” To which she responded with rolling eyes: “No, I meant it’s you isn’t it that had a party last weekend and murdered Adele’s Rolling in the Deep at 3am in the morning waking up the entire neighbourhood with your screeching?”

To which I politely smiled at the irate wee woman and then quickly turned and bolted up the street in jig time. Memo to self, I must remember after a few light refreshments that I’m not Adele and that my living room isn’t the SSE Hydro.

IT’S Eurovision weekend and there will be parties up and down the country this Saturday. Let’s hope that it is not nul point for British hopefuls Joe and Jake with their entry You’re Not Alone.

Some have said I only voted

Yes in the referendum in order to represent Scotland in Eurovision which is only partly true. Until that fine day comes, I’ll be routing for the UK to at the very least not come in last. No doubt Graham Norton will do an outstanding job commentating for us, and hosts Sweden will put on a spectacular show.