During our weekly girls catch up, I noticed that Mae had a lovely shiny new navy hand bag.

“Gorgeous Mae,” I stated, aware that she recently celebrated her birthday.

“I take it it’s a birthday present.”

“Nope.”

“I treated myself to the bag and these new jeans.” Mae gave us a twirl.

“This scarf and these shoes.”

“Lovely.” We all agreed.

“You see Vicky (Mae’s daughter) asked what I wanted for my birthday so I showed her a navy jacket I had had my eye on.”

“Assuming that’s what I was getting, I went ahead and bought all the accessories to go with it.”

Mae went on to explain.

“Vicky handed me a bag of pressies, but there was no sign of the jacket, so trying not to seem disappointed or ungrateful I casually mentioned the jacket.”

“It was sold out mum so got you perfume instead,” was the simple answer.

“Like you Mae,” I added.

“I hinted continually about a diamond and sapphire bracelet in Henderson’s window I had had my eye on.”

“You shouldn’t have,” I gushed to my then husband as he handed me a beautifully wrapped long gift box.

“Go on open it,” he goaded excitedly.

“Oh,” I sighed.

“You really shouldn’t have,” sarcastically I spat out the words as my face fell when I finally opened the long box.”

“A pen.”

“A pen.”

“A pen.” I kept repeating until he butted in.

“A pen and pencil Janice.”

The girls weren’t really laughing at this point because as it turned out, we all seemed to have fallen victim to unwanted gifts from our other halves.

“Like you too Janice, I fell hook line and sinker for the big build up to a gift I never wanted.”

Lesley was quick to get her bit in.

“I assumed my ex-husband Jim had bought me a fabulous piece of jewellery I had had my eye on for ages.

“After all, it was a special birthday and I had dropped numerous hints in the run up to the big day.

“And every time I mentioned the jewellery he agreed that it was indeed beautiful.”

Lesley sighed.

“So I assumed it was in the bag.”

We were all eager to hear if Lesley’s disappointment was as bad as Mae’s elusive jacket and my unwanted pen (and pencil).

“My birthday morning came and Jim made me slowly unwrap some bits and pieces which were lovely, then said ‘shut your eyes Lesley and I’ll go and get ‘The Biggie’.

“I’ll nip to the loo first, I replied because I was so excited.

“I shut my eyes and he placed a huge box on my lap and said ‘dah dah.”

All eyes were on Lesley as we were eager to find out what wonders were in Pandora’s Box.

“The box was so big that I assumed he was doing the old trick of putting a box inside a box, which contained another box containing my jewellery.”

“But no.” Lesley shook her head as she relived her disappointment.

“Excitedly I ripped the paper off and discovered a metal cage containing a bloody hamster!”

We couldn’t stop laughing as she continued.

“And I’m allergic to furry animals.”

“I ask you girls.” Lesley wasn’t for letting up.

“Jewellery or a hamster?”

“Just how can you get it so wrong?”

We had no answer to that one as Sharon thought she could go one better.

“For years I had wanted a red Ford Fiesta and spotted a second hand one in a local showroom.”

“Billy, I’ve got my eye on this shiny red Fiesta.”

“It’s absolutely beautiful.”

Apparently Billy took Sharon to the showroom, sat with her to work out payments, and even took her for a test drive.

“The big day came and he said ‘come outside Sharon I’ve got a surprise.”

“Give me a clue.” I asked.

“Well it’s got wheels and it’ll save you getting the bus.”

We were now on the edge of our seats.

“So I went outside and leaning up against the gate was a brand new bike.”

A bike!” We squawked in unison.

“Yep, he even had the cheek to put a bow on it.”

Summing up I turned to the girls.

“In my mum and dads day when you had your eye on something it was a lot simpler.”

I relayed my story.

“I remember the day my mum came home from a trip to Glasgow all excited.”

“She turned to my dad and pleaded. ‘Jim, Jim I’ve got my eye on a gorgeous suite I saw in Reid’s window.”

To which my dad curtly replied.

“Well Cathie.”

“Keep your eye on it, because you’ll no get you’re a@@e on it.”

And that was the end of that!