There is something wonderfully liberating about putting on a costume and getting to be whatever or whoever you chose for a day.

It can be such fun to act out different personality traits behind the safety of a mask.

But when it ceases to be fun is when we lose touch with the person we are if we are not hiding being that mask anymore. Whether it is a company ethos, a name badge, position or an individual, I am seeing more and more clients who have completely lost touch with themselves and their real character and who literally don’t know who they are if they let the mask slip.

I can think of at least three situations in my life where I became a chameleon to make the situation work for me. But, did it? Yes, for a short while/ But the drive in me to be ‘me’ was always stronger.

What these ‘chameleons’ do know is that it is exauhsting, unsatisfying and unsustainable to maintain this role play. Often they act or speak in a way far from their own natural way of being. So it is impossible for it not to cause feelings of unease or anxiety.

Whether it is a corporate environment or a relationship, we are conditioned to want to please, to fit in and to have that sense of belonging. But at what cost?

Trouble sleeping, palpitations, short temper and an inability to make decisions are just some of the long list of symptoms that clients present with.

Taking things back to basics, stripping away the emotions and writing a list that, if there were to be no consequences, sums up how you would like to be are the means to regain your sense of ‘self’.

By doing this often we realise that the chains we think are holding us there, are not as unbreakable as we think.

Be honest with yourself in what you REALLY need, emotionally and financially, and understand  what environment you need to be satisfied.

You may be surprised with the result.

List your resources and skills. I promise, you will be surprised at just how many you have. Once you recognise your strengths you will recognise that change is a natural process … so embrace it.

Sandie Robertson is a respected lifestyle coach, wellness expert, hypnotherapist and trainer. An expert on anxiety and stress management she has helped hundreds of clients with problems from weight loss to sports performance, trauma to grief. If want her to help you contact her on www.sandierobertson.com