You’ve no idea the amount of comments I’ve had since putting up my Christmas decorations in the office.

“Bit early, isn’t it Janice?”

“It’s still November.”

“Rather tacky putting up decorations this early surely?,” was another remark.

And my answer was - well if it’s good enough for Glasgow City Council to turn on their George Square Christmas lights in November, then it’s good enough for me.

Which prompted me to put up my own Christmas tree at the weekend.

However, it turned out to be more than a bit of a palaver.

You see, my daughter Jenna bought me the 6ft tree a few years ago for my birthday which is in December also.

“You know you’ll never buy yourself one,” she commented.

And she was right. I would never have bought myself a Christmas tree.

Certainly not a 6ft one!

But in order to get to the tree and the boxes of decorations, which typically were right at the back of my huge cupboard, I had to pull practically everything out.

I heaved and hauled at my golf clubs, boxes of the grandkids toys, walking boots and wellie boots, jackets galore, paint tins, a hula hoop, an exercise bike, a fan heater, old pictures, a pressure washer and in amongst all of this was a Furby toy which suddenly came to life and frightened the hell out of me.

So wishing I hadn’t bothered with the blinkin tree, I sat on the hall steps and stared at my hallway which now resembled Steptoe’s yard with the masses of clutter.

Sunday morning and I phoned my pal.

“The tree’s up Mae, so we might as well get into the Christmas spirit.”

I had tickets for the Christmas Fayre at the SECC in Glasgow and decided that after hours of untangling tree lights and separating branches, I deserved a break.

The Fayre was packed as we sauntered about looking at the wonderful array of Christmas gift ideas, but every now and then we stopped for a free sample of cheese, wine, shortbread, and eventually whisky.

“I hate whisky,” Mae screwed up her face.

“So do I,” I agreed.

“When I was growing up my dad would insist I take a sip of whisky at the bells and toast in the New Year,” she explained.

“My memories of whisky are that it tasted and smelled vile.”

However, the young girl handed us an eyebath sized cup and after much sniffing and gurning, we took a sip.

“Mmmmm, that’s lovely.”

“It sure is,” I agreed.

Suddenly we were aware of a rather inebriated couple sitting next to us who seemed to be enjoying what was obviously not their first free sample of the day.

“You should try the Chivas Royal wae a dash of water,” the man turned to me.

“I think he means Chivas Regal,” I whispered to my pal.

Shaking her head at a young guy who was selling raffle tickets, the wife, who we discovered was called Joyce added.

“No thanks son, we don’t seem to have much luck.”

Whether we liked it or not, suddenly Joyce and her husband Bill began to unfold their story about one of their escapades a couple of years ago.

Apparently, despite thousands of applicants, they were selected to appear on a TV game show which was being recorded in a London studio.

“We were so excited I think we told every single person we knew,” enthused Joyce.

“Nerves were getting the better of us on the train going to London,” added Bill.

“So we treated ourselves to a couple of wee refreshments.”

“And another at the station as we waited for our driver,” confirmed Joyce.

Mae and I rolled our eyes at each other as we knew where this story was heading.

“We got to the studio and did a wee run through of what we were expected to do when the filming began,” explained Joyce.

And I must admit, it sounded exciting as they went in to detail.

“Next minute they put us in a holding room with the other contestants and a free bar.”

“Were you still nervous?” Mae attempted to join in the conversation.

“I think we must have been.,” stated Bill, as he gave a knowing look to his wife.

“Because when it came our turn to appear, we were so pissed that they wouldn’t let us take part.”

“I mean,” Joyce attempted to defend their drunken actions.

“All that free drink was just sitting there and the closer it got to us appearing, the more anxious we got.”

Silently Mae and I nodded.

“We just got a bit carried away girls, but we’re still applying for other game shows.”

“So you never know.”

Later that evening.

“Guaranteed Mae, those two will appear on our telly at some point.”

“Aye,” She agreed.

“But probably on Crime Watch!”