One afternoon in May a salesman called Darren stopped me in Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow.

“Excuse me madam, can I ask how much you’re paying for broadband, TV and Internet?”

Now as it happens, my current provider’s monthly charges were increasing somewhat.

“Switch to us and I can save you £450 per year,” he enthused.

And I must admit the offer sounded very tempting although….

“I really can’t be bothered with the hassle and stress of changing,” I moaned.


“There is no hassle,” Darren re-iterated.

“I do all the paperwork, you cancel your existing contract and arrange for an engineer to visit, and you’re good to go.”


So I signed up and as instructed cancelled my existing contract and arranged for and engineer to visit.

A week later a small box arrived which I left by the side of my telly for the engineer to do his stuff, but returning home, I soon discovered that my telly was no different from when I had left it and the small box was still intact.

Repeatedly I dialled the helpline number until eventually I got through to an automated voice which kept me hanging on for twelve minutes.

I hung up and started the long process again, but gave up after another frustrating ten minutes.

Next day I decide the best option would be to relay my issues through the Live Chat option on their company website.

Now, for the best part of the day I tried to access Live Chat only to be told that they were extremely busy and I should try later.

Later? A day, a week or a month?

‘Our chat experts are on hand to help you with everything.’ It stated, which only made me even angrier.

Next day, having no other option I tried calling again and when I eventually got through, the automated voice gave me no suitable options, so I pressed a random number and after giving my name, address and postcode yet again, I explained my dilemma.

“No problem Miss Bell I will put you through to one of our Bright Sparks.

The irony of their engineers being called Bright Sparks was not lost on me and after a lengthy discussion, the Bright Spark decided I was still waiting on a specific box.

Having no clue what this was, he explained that I needed it to set up my TV channels.

“I’ll check your TV box is on its way and call you back,” he promised.

No one called me back.

Over the next couple of weeks I endured the same lengthy exasperating telephone process until I was assured my box was on its way, but still no sign of a box.

By now I was extremely agitated even dialling the dreaded number which rang and rang and rang…….. until I got through to speak to someone.

However, to make matters worse my landline had a fault which meant it was so crackly and intermittent I could barely hear.

Shouting down the phone I pleaded.

“I can’t hear you, can you please call me back on my mobile?”

I’m sorry Ms Bell, thank you for your patience, I’ll just transfer you to….”

I dared not hang up as I might never get through again.

I was passed from pillar to post for an hour and ten minutes whilst shouting down the phone until Porcia, an advisor had the common sense to call me back on my mobile.

“I’m sorry Ms Bell,” was the umpteenth apology of the day.

“What can I do for you?”

My face started twitching nervously as I relayed the long drawn out list of issues.

“Do you mean I have been sold a landline and internet connection and no TV?” I was ready to explode.

“Yes, Ms Bell but don’t worry as we can add this on to your package for an extra £10 per month.”

“Wait a minute Porcia, let’s just cancel the whole thing.”

Porcia disappeared for ages until.

“Sorry Ms Bell but it will cost you £180 to cancel,” she had the cheek to state.

“But as a gesture of good will we will give you the box for free.”

I huffed and puffed as she added.

“Before we go ahead Ms Bell can you confirm you have a TV Ariel?”

Infuriated I said I had no clue and would check.

“I promise Ms Bell I will call you back on Monday.”

After two hours of exasperating conversation I hung up, sat down and burst out crying.

Wednesday and the instant I heard Porcia’s voice I fell into a bad mood.

“OK Ms Bell, thank you for confirming you have an Ariel.”

I sighed with relief until…….

“But unfortunately, you do not have enough broadband fibre to support the TV Box.”


“No hassle?”

“No stress?” I ranted to my son.

“Ross it’s now August, I’ve got a twitch, anxiety and still no TV.”