There's been a baby boom in my life over the past five years.

Quite literally. I'm at that age where it's all engagements, weddings and babies, babies, babies. I have weans coming out of my ears; as it stands there are 15 under the age of five with two more due this summer. That's a lot of gift buying, believe me! I do love it though, they're amazing and as the big uncle you get all of the good parts and don't have to fret too much about the day to days or discipline. I do my fair share of babysitting and a dirty nappy doesn't really phase me anymore. I'm clued up on Peppa Pig and Doc McStuffin, you get to watch all of the Disney films guilt free, what's not to love?

My favourite part of all of these babies being born though is the maternity leave. We all love it. Endless days of watching the real Houswives of anywhere, long lunches and not to mention the occasional tipple on a school night. The party is over though. My pal Donna went back to work last week. I was needed to be there for the kids on her first day because her man was on nightshift. Monday morning. School and nursery run included. Donna and John have three kids - Wee john is five, Evie has just turned four and Charlie is our latest addition at nine months. My alarm was set for 6.15am, ample time for a snooze to be included. I got to Donna's for 7am to let her head off. The weans were asleep and didn't need to be up until 8am. Breakfast was laid out, as was clothes, uniforms and lunches. Coffee for me.

By 8:15am the house was in an uproar! John had sports day but didn't want to wear the trainers that had been left out and could only find one of the trainers that he did want to wear. Evie was like a banshee but refused point blank to have her hair tied up ( I have an HNC in ponytails too) - we reached a stalemate and settled on a thorough brushing with a few clips on the side. All the while, wee Charlie had to be have his breakfast, bottle and changed in time for the school run. 8:45am. I was on it. Fed, watered, faces washed and off we went. On the way out the door, Evie bumped her head, but the crying soon stopped with the bribe of being taken for lunch after nursery. By 9.05am I was charging into town with Charlie in the buggy, full of the coffee buzz. Did you know that the shops don't even open till 10am? I honestly have never been in town that early. Ever. Thankfully, Princes Square was open to grab another coffee whilst Charlie had a nap. I was rattling. The town is full of mums with buggy's before 10am, I felt like I was part of a gang. Wee nods of admiration and "I know the feeling" looks of exhaustion. There was the occasional punter who recognized me and I overheard two wee auld dears say: "I thought he was gay" Whit a scandal! A gay! Pushing a buggy! No harm done dolls, but it's 2015 and guess what? The gays can be parents too you know. Clutch yer pearls! Bless them.

By lunchtime, I was relieved of my duties by my best pal Natalie and her fiancée Laura, the girls are home on holiday from Australia and offered to take the back shift. Thank you lassies, I love you for taking the hit and making it a working holiday. I hadn't showered, my teeth weren't brushed, I hadn't even changed my pants! I salute all of you mammies and daddies out there, especially my own pals. It's a hard job raising those weans. This single mammy feels your pain. However, unlike you lot, I got to go home to my quiet flat and take a two hour nap. It was bloody braw! Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee should be quaking in their sensible shoes.

I'm delighted to announce that I'll be returning to the Pavilion Theatre again this Christmas for panto! I know, I know, don't go mental at me for mentioning Christmas already, but with this horrible weather we've been having lately it feels like we should be putting up the tree and decorations instead of BBQ's and beer gardens. This year's panto is brand spanking new and called "Santa Claus is coming to town." I'm playing Nanny "Nae" Nonsense (how apt!) and all of the Pavilion favourites are back too: Johnny Mac, Stephen Purdon, Leah MacRae and the wonderful Dean Park.

Tickets are on sale now via the website, www.pavilionpanto.com or call 0141 332 1846.

If you are looking for a wee lunch time treat this week, get along to A play, a pie and a pint at the Oran Mor. The play this week is part of the Classic Cuts season: The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman/Adapted by Sandy Nelson. Hannah Donaldson is in it; she is one of my best pals and is always amazing. I'm not just saying that because I love her...she is wonderfully talented. Go see it. GO!

Info at www.playpiepint.com

Follow me on Twitter: @G_aryLamont